Back to School

I'll will be the first to admit I am totally hopeless at grammar. As a dyslexic it made no sense to me and I didn't like Miss Brown who taught it. I have always relied on my reasonably good ear to make my way. Looking back, I sometimes wonder how I received a degree in English. Somewhere along the way I mastered what I called paper-ease English and lost the natural syntax in my head. This natural syntax came from my grandfather who lived with us while I was young. He was originally from Donegal. His speech was naturally poetic, well at least to my ears.

However as I graduated back in the dark ages, 1985, I have forgotten everything. This morning I have spend hours here trying to master my tenses and exactly what is passive voice. Yes, I know I should have done this years ago but well it just didn't interest me. Now as I am wading through A Cornish House I need to understand this and more. However I haven't much time before this bl**dy thing must be sent off to New Writers' Scheme and as much as I will slap a big sticker on it saying beware not polished I do have some pride - not much but some.

So I'm finding myself making my sentences too simple because at least that way I know they are correct. This, however, leads to boring reading if all the sentences are too simple. So here's a choice for you:

Scattered around her were easels and canvases, all the requirements of her life. Well they had been her life and must be again. Bending, she opened a box and the smell of turpentine hit her. Something must have leaked. She dug into the box and found a pile of cards. She dropped them quickly and groped for anything else as the tears welled up. Her hand came to rest on a cool bronze finish. This wasn't any good. Who had packed this box? Who put his cards and the bust she had made of him with the turpentine?

or

Scattered around her were easels and canvases, all the requirements of her life. Well they had been her life and must be again. She bent and opened a box the smell of turpentine hit her. Something must have leaked. She dug into the box and found a pile of cards. She dropped them quickly and groped for anything else as tears welled up. Her hand came to rest to rest on a cool bronze finish. This wasn't any good. Who had packed this box? Who had put his cards and the bust she had made of him with the turpentine?

Confession - even as I read through the paragraph above I struggle to identify all the tenses I have used. I need to go back to school .

So are you a natural with grammar, a keen study, or do you flounder like me?