I'm Impatient and I Hate It

I still struggle with the the virtue of patience and have for most of my life. However now I can wait for for my birthday in fact I wouldn't mind if they just stopped for a bit but that's another matter!

What I'm impatient for at the moment is to move forward in my revisions. I feel like I've been working on these opening chapters for ages and, well, I have and they have improved and grown. I know my main characters far better than i did a month ago. BUT I am itching to get working with the stuff I have written already - the bulk of the novel. I want to see see it take shape.

For the past few days I have been - blocked for a lack of a better word. I didn't stop working - I kept tightening and doing character exercises but what i wanted to was finish chapter three. I had written the first half of the chapter set in Barcelona and I needed a new scene with Victoria. I knew what I wanted the scene to accomplish and where it was set. I even knew who else was in it. You may think I should always know these things, but most of the time I don't - especially in a first draft. Yet this time I had it all even the time of day in my head. What I didn't have were the words. I don't actually believe in writer's block as such, but I do believe that when the words won't arrive something isn't right.

So here I am raring to move forward - I can see the way (even have a map of sorts - you know that dirty thing called a working synopsis which is a new experience for me on a second draft) and I'm stalled. Finally on the train back from Oxford today it hit me. I'm rushing. I'm desperate to reach key parts and I need to write more at the beginning. I just want to plunge in, but none of what happens after will have any real impact or even make sense unless I give the reader more time time to know the characters....I need to work on my virtues...

In the meantime I thought I'd put up the first paragraph and show you my tweaking. Here's version one:

The Toronto air was heavy with yet to fall rain. Demi could taste it as she took a deep breath. The new leaves on the trees glowed lime in the flat light. She paused and looked at the familiar houses on the street she had called home for so long. All was stillness; no kids on bikes, no game of kickball and no shouts of hide and seek. Nothing. She bit her tongue as the words ‘come out, come out wherever you are.’ hovered until a sudden breeze teased the leaves into motion. Only a thunderstorm would clear the atmosphere.

And here's the latest -

Demi stopped walking and looked at the familiar houses on the Toronto street that had been her home for twenty years. All was stillness; no kids on bikes, no game of kickball and no shouts of hide and seek. Nothing. She bit her tongue as the words ‘come out, come out wherever you are’ hovered until a sudden breeze teased the new leaves on the trees into motion. The air was heavy with yet to fall rain. She could taste it as she took a deep breath. Only a storm would clear the atmosphere.

Summer in the City and Links

This weather is just glorious - it's truly summer and to celebrate it the other night I was able to go another gathering of twitter people. This one was BookTwicNic in Regents Park. Don't ask me why but I felt like a student again picnicking on a summer's eve with the Pimms freely flowing...which of course led to great conversation and eventually having to clamber over the gate to get out of the park (maybe that's where the student feeling comes in...) Here's a few photos to give you a flavour.

Writing wise I am making progress on Penderown albeit slowly. I'm putting in more scenes at the beginning which I believe deepen the characters sooner and I finally feel I know Demi well enough to properly tell her story. Chapter One is finished and I was about to post it with the other first chapter on my website but then stopped - because of scene two's more adult nature. Have any of you had this issue when posting bits of your work on the web and if so how did you handle it?

Finally a few links....

Here's one from Jennifer Crusie The Basics of Fiction that's not for the faint hearted but good for revision

Another spot on post by Sarah Duncan

Anita Burgh tells How It Is

A good fix for saggy middles from T. Anne

How to add character to your synopsis from Julie Cohen

A Glimpse of Barcelona

Sorry for the radio silence this past week. Despite staying in a business hotel in Barcelona we didn't have internet the first day and then I was sharing with DH.

Barcelona was so beautiful - unexpectedly so...I am left with memories of scent of pine in the cool of the parks, the balconies and shuttered windows and the food...I ate so much at times i thought I would burst....

Simply wonderful and i worked. Yes, I was good little writer and didn't spend my days sightseeing. However i did have the most magical day seeing Kate Harrison's Barcelona which included having coffee with Matt Dunn. So Barcelona offered beauty, inspiration and writers to talk too - perfect really if you include the superb wine....

My Garden in a Vase

When I left Cornwall earlier this week my garden was just getting into its stride. June is its month. I hated to leave and I was sad that DH wouldn't see it in its glory so I took ten minutes and cut a bloom or two from each rose. Thought I share it with you. I just wish I could share the scent as well.

The Forest For the Trees or Info Dump

Sorry for my absence from the blog but I left the power cables for laptop behind in Cornwall...it was like not having my arms and then to catch up on everything....

You would think by now that I would see obvious writing mistakes printed out in black and white in front of me easily - now I'm not talking about typos (my speciality) but, well let's not beat around the bush here - information dumping....show not tell

Yesterday I was finally pulling together the new first chapter for PENDEROWN. I had played with the opening page until I felt i had set the mood right and first scene said all I wanted it to say (I'll come back to this) and then I pasted in the Victoria's first scene. Now this is where my alarms bells were ringing - my alarm bells not those of my IV (inner voice - thank you Annie). You see - Victoria's opening scene is explicit and my inner prude panicked - it said 'you can't have a sex scene on page three and definitely not one like that'. However my IV said yes you can and it's right and it's right for your character....inner battle ensued. In desperation because i just couldn't move on I called on friends.....who of course had no problem at all with said scene. IV wins but Biddy quite rightly pointed out the lovely info dump below that pulled her straight out of the story and if I'm honest IV was trying to tell me about it but the prude in me was too overpowering.

So here's what happened when I took info dump (see above - scene saying all I wanted it to say in one paragraph!!!)

She checked her emails again and there was still nothing from Adam Smith and Associates. It had been a week and a day since she had received the email informing her she was on the shortlist for the trainee position, but they hadn’t told her how many were on it with her only that she had made it out of the thousand applicants. She should be pleased, she knew she should. She wanted this job. It was perfect and here in Toronto. If she landed it then it would become the doorway to a successful career in architecture hence the thousand applicants. But...she chewed her lower lip and slowed her steps. If the answer was yes she wouldn’t be able to make the trip to Europe and well, she would have to decline the offer of a place at Falmouth School of Art for a Masters in Art & Environment, which she knew was just a dream anyway.

and then after reminding myself I should know better by now and remembering Jan Jones's wonderful post on show not tell.....this is what the new looked like (but remember it is still to be worked on)....

Demi jumped when her phone rang. Matt's photo flashed on the screen with his big grin. “Hi."

“Hello beautiful.”

Demi rolled her eyes. They were just words. If only she felt he actually meant it. “What’s up?”

“Just booked our tickets to Europe.”

“No, no you can’t have.” Demi swallowed. “I haven’t heard about the job.”

“Don’t mean to burst your bubble, but yes you made the short list out of a thousand but no way will you make the final cut.”

“Thanks for your belief in me.”

“But I do believe in you and that’s why you should forget the boring job and follow your heart to Cornwall and to the masters you want.”

She closed her eyes and took a breath. She couldn’t reason with him. She had a tough enough time doing that with herself. “Please tell me you haven’t actually booked flights.”

“Relax. I’ve just reserved them.”

“How long will they hold them?”

“Two days.”

“Good. Give me until then.”

Matt was hopeless but she was worse. Bloody dreamers both.She put her toe in and out of a puddle and watched the ripples before she checked her emails again to find there was still nothing from Adam Smith and Associates. It had been a week and a day since she had received the email informing her she was on the shortlist. She should be pleased, she knew she should. She wanted this job. It was perfect and here in Toronto. If she landed it then it would become the doorway to a successful career in architecture.

Thunder rumbled in the distance. The storm would be here shortly but not yet. Demi’s eyes traced the outline of the one houses that had been ‘improved’ from a humble bungalow to a grand residence. Her nose twitched. It didn’t fit the neighbourhood but she was sure it had been what the clients had requested. Was life always like that?

She chewed her lower lip and slowed her steps. If the she was accepted then she wouldn’t be able to make the trip and well, she would have to decline the offer of a place at Falmouth School of Art for a Masters in Art & Environment. It was just a dream anyway and one her mother hadn’t shared for her.

A Bonus

Life is manic but it has it moments when all the effort is worthwhile. I drove to Cornwall on Wednesday - detoured to see dd which was worth it for the huge hug alone. Once in Cornwall I collected a desk for London (nabbed two neighbours to help me shift into the car) then drove back to London yesterday via DS1's school to collect him as he had completed all the exams he had scheduled before half term. Madness - I know.

However as a bank holiday weekend and half term are upon us we know the weather will go downhill and I saw my garden in its full May glory - such a bonus!

The London Launch of Like Bees to Honey

Last night I ventured into North London for the London launch of Caroline Smailes's third book LIKE BEES TO HONEY and what a wonderful night it was. The Big Green Bookshop was packed and buzzing when I arrived with Bridid Coady. My quickly snapped photos don't even begin to capture the atmosphere -I have to say it was a bit like old home week in a very weird way. Why you ask? Well, yes, I knew a few of the people from elsewhere (Julia Williams and Brigid from the RNA for example and a wonderful group of Novel Racers past and present - Cathy W, Helen, Kev, Tali....) but I knew so many people from Twitter. There were a few squeals and oh my God going around all over the place as in flesh connections were made - it was brilliant. The only time silence descended on the room was when Caroline read beautifully from the book. (I have to say I always hear her voice when I read her words - the rhythm and tone of her voice is perfect for her words).

Below where possible I have identified people in the photos. (If I haven't named and shamed you and you'd like to be please let me know or if I have and I have missed you up or misspelled your name again please let me know!). It was simply a brilliant night...thank you Caroline and The Big Green Book Shop

The venue

A glimpse at the packed room

Julia Williams in conversation (she's in black and red)

Scott Pack, Julia Lampam and Brigid Coady

Caroline signing books

The hush during the reading

Caroline back signing again

Caroline and DJ Kirby

Moi and Caroline

Note the Maltese beer

Jen @ SpiralSkies

A group shot but in the centre Tamsyn Murray enjoying the beer with Josa Young beside her
Kev aka Captain Black

A group shot - man in hat, Lacy Tiger, MissCellany, Ben Johncock, pretty blond lady and the back of Nina Douglas

Caorline, Brigid Coady and Tamsyn Murray (who also have a luanch for her book this week - note the Stunt Bunny stickers :-) )

p.s. i have a feeling the tags will not match the photos when I press publish so apologies for that - they do right now!

LIKE BEES TO HONEY

Today is so exciting, I was going to blog about buying old books from a great bookshop, but that can wait - Caroline Smailes's book LIKE BEES TO HONEY is out and I get to host chapter 23. I have been waiting for this book since Caroline first mentioned it's subject matter and now it's here and I'm part of it's launch (and thanks to BA and Ash Cloud - I won't have attend her London launch with suitcases and jet lag in tow!).

Open publication - Free publishing

buy the book here

To start at the beginning go to Caroline's blog

Or if you have been there already then go visit JJ http://tea-stains.blogspot.com/ for chapter 24. Most of all enjoy. I am.

A Link

Agent Nathan Bransford is doing wonderful things on Mondays...a one page critique. Here's this week's . Last week's was just as good.

I don' t know about you but this type of criticism is so useful because it helps me to train my eye and to see where my instincts match his or violently disagree (this hasn't happened yet). I am planning to take a page a day of my own work and do the same type of crit while I am in research mode. If I'm brave I may show you the results of one of my efforts.

Do you think this type of work is good or would it work against you? I know I certainly couldn't and wouldn't do it during a first draft but as an exercise I think it might improve my writing - time will tell.

Right now back to my women gardeners....oh and I will blog on Thursday about my trip to Slightly Foxed and a surprise.

Where I Am...Plot Holes and Travel Plans

Literally - I am sitting at the table watching the morning sun. I am in a happy place here thinking about PENDEROWN and also a thousand other things.

First just to say all my photos of the Summer Party are up over at the RNA Blog. I am tempted to put up a few out takes here but that might not be fair.... It was a wonderful party as always but down on numbers due to two other parties in the publishing world that evening. This was actually good because I did have the chance for a few proper catch ups and hello how good to finally meet you in person chats. Everyone is eagerly anticipating this year's conference which now doesn't seem too far away.

So on the flight I read through the synopsis for PENDEROWN - it is an awful one, but it is workable and as it is, at this point for my eyes only, that is okay. I hated doing every minute of it but boy can I see how it will help. As I wrote it out in long hand (yes, doing much more of that lately) I could see plot holes as I worked through the story. These holes were visible to me in the synopsis but interestingly not as I read the script. What does this tell me? One I am a crap reader of my own work (might be true)? Or I had pulled off something else in the script that hid the plot holes? I think it's the later and I think this is really important for those of us who haven't cracked the publication bit yet.

Why? Here I am going to call upon the rejections I have received and the work I recently did on the synopsis for A CORNISH HOUSE. Each rejection bar the computer generated one for the M&B has mentioned how well I write - early on I thought so what's the problem then? As my rejection letters or emails or chats became longer and more of open conversations I wondered what was up...these people were still willing to talk to me and see my work, the comments were almost all praise so what the hell am I doing wrong. When you get theses snipets of feedback and encouragement you flounder - I don't mean it isn't wonderful but no one tells you how to understand what the comments mean let alone how to fix or improve. I am finding now several books and innumerable rewrites down the line I keep having these moments of...so that is what so so meant when she said this...

It may well just be that I'm thick or could be just that I have to learn each skill one at a time. So when I read Penderown after such a long break I saw problems from useless scenes, repetition, etc but I was also carried away with the story (good). The characterization except for Demi worked. Because of all that is not crap in my writing the plot holes were hidden which the synopsis made very apparent. Having done a synopsis after draft one - painful though it was hopefully will have saved me a rewrite or two. I now also understand some of the comments in said rejections - boy were they right and their practised eyes saw so much while they acknowledged the good. They could immediately picked up the problems which until now I couldn't see and to be honest there are probably more things yet that I don't see....

So I have work to do before I begin writing again however when on the plane the other day I did write and again in long hand (because I was too lazy to get the netbook out). As i began I thought I was writing the the penultimate scene - emotional and final. I wrote as fast as my pen would take me and eight packed pages later I looked up and smiled. Job done except for polishing and connecting.

Wrong. I was doing my blog check and stumbled over to Julie Cohen's blog and then today here. The scene I wrote needs to come much sooner. It will make things worse and hopefully the ending better and stronger - well at least I hope so.

So now I am going to take my research list which i made up during the read through and begin that - I am itching to begin the rewrite but I think it's best if i fill in the holes now and who knows what other twists may come out of the research.

BEAR UPDATE: They are having cinnamon rolls for breakfast

Today DD and I are off to the Victoria and Albert to see the Grace Kelly exhibition. Confession - when young she was the person I wanted and tried to look like most. I failed miserable but hopefully was just that little bit more elegant than I might have been otherwise...

TRAVEL UPDATE: It looked like BA's Cabin crew strike had scuppered my plans to go to my uni reunion but plans are under way to get there by other means (and no not swimming the Atlantic or rowing either!)