Over at the Novel Racers

As I mentioned earlier this week - life is a bit busy. One of the things on the list was my shout for coffee over at the Novel Racers's Blog. So my post is here. It's about opening paragraphs and whether they reflect or even should reflect the book that follows.

Here's the latest version of the opening A CORNISH HOUSE for your perusal.

The car coughed to a halt then lurched as the trailer pushed it further along the dark lane. The headlights' beam silhouetted the twisted trees against the moonless sky. Their tortured shapes merged with the hedges forming a tunnel which enclosed the car. Maddie’s chest tightened. She forced her breathing to slow, but it didn’t calm her rapid heart beat.

May I ask - what does it say to you? Would you want to read on? What type of book do you think it is?

Now head back down and only coming up for the odd cup of coffee and glance at Twitter now that it's working again!

I'm over at the Novel Racers' Blog Today

I've posted on plotting over at the Novel Racers' Blog.

I'm behind on A Cornish House and I have been a victim of Twitter's cull so have lost all my followers and those I follow. If you followed me or I followed you on Twitter can you find me again! @lizfenwick Thanks!!!!

Travel and Black Boxes

I am sitting in the study in Cornwall having watching the most beautiful sunrise wondering how I got here from there sort of thing. What a week this has been. Celebrated Dh's birthday, had hang over from hell (might there be a connection I wonder?), flew to London, went to a book launch, picked up ds2 and drove to my beloved home! I think I may have left my brain somewhere along the way..........

However it was with sheer joy that I was able to attend the wonderful Caroline Smailes' launch of Black Boxes. It was joyful on sooooooooo many accounts I just have to list them:

-Novel Racers (finally meeting in person Calistro, Leigh, CC, Julliette, Cathy - of course I had met the wonderful Kate Harrison before - lucky me!)

-Meeting Caroline in the flesh

-Catching up with the glorious Biddy

-Meeting Judith who in my jet lagged state I couldn't quite place why I knew her (please forgive me)

-Holding in my hands my own - and signed just for me- copy of Black Boxes which in the flesh, so to speak, is so much more beautiful that the image of the cover portrays on the 'puter screen!

-And finally just the buzz of being a part of a friend's success

I, as always, took a few photos so that I could share the event. I haven't outed the people in them.......see if you can guess.

Super Link

Regular blog readers know that I am a member of the Novel Racers (a wonderful rag tag bunch of writers supporting each other through the whole novel writing process) and each week we 'meet' for coffee and discussion. This week the wonderful Zinnia was hosting and boy did she hit on a fantastic topic - our own 'Crystal Tips' here. Hop over to read a collection of fantastic writing tips - so many light bulb moments in the comments section.

I am finally making headway on the revison. Haven't updated the sidebar as it wouldn't look like progress. I now have 360 pages instead of 391 for a start. There's been a whole lot of cutting going on but there has been some serious addition stuff happening too. Must keep focused.

I have been tagged by Rebecca for the quirks meme.

Here are the rules:
Link the person who tagged you.
Mention the rules in your blog.
Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged

1. I have a thing about saying thank you waiters/waitresses ( probably because I have been there)
2. i express affection to my husband and kids by silent kisses and they respeond in kind
3. because of my dyslexia I have trouble with telling my right from left so I have to 'pledge alliegence' to know which direction I am talking about - people give you very funny looks when you keep slapping your left tit.........
4. like many Americans I love maple syrup on my bacon but only one of kids gets this
5. it must be in the genes because my feet can't keep still when I hear Irish music
6. dh and I have a fun game when out of creating character sketches of people

Won't tag anyone but if you feel like doing it let me know :-)

Romantic Novelist Association - Novel of the Year Long List and it includes the Novel Racers' own Rowan Colman

I can't say how excited I am that one of our Novel Racers is on the long list for Romantic Novelist Association Romantic Novel of the Year long list here! Rowan Coleman'sThe Baby Group is there!!!!!!

Also up there is the wonderful Kate Lace (aka Catherine Jones) for The Chalet Girl. She is pictured at the RNA Winter Party with her latest book Movie Girl.

I must find a way to convince my dh it is essential that I come back for the lunch in February!!!!

Now back to Christmas tasks but smiling!!!!!

Rant and Link

First the rant....I check blogs regularly (especially when I am editing and procrastinating) and I have noticed that even with my own I don't get an update for say half a day. So I will post this and it will be after lunch before it appears on my screen as showing up in blogland ( although I know it is out there for the rest of the world as I will get email alerts that someone has commented on the post - go figure). So I thought there was some problem with my beloved, that she was tired and her memory needed help so I cleaned up her cashe and still the same problem.

This morning I stopped by the Novel Racers' Blog and the last post showing up was Monday's....I knew was a load of bull as I have been there yesterday through the dashboard and there had been three more posts. So I clicked through the dashboard and wow there were another two posts.....Why? Could some one tell me why I'm not seeing them? So I went through my usual click through of blogs and came to Lane's , from the past I knew she post regularly but all this week I have been seeing last Thursday's post yet I have seem her commenting on other people's blogs. I thought she must not be in a posting mood......NO, she had written four posts which only showed up on my puter today!!!!

I don't think there is anything I can do about it but all of you who are wondering why I am not there commenting - well its because I have no idea you have posted. I am stuck with yesterday or last week's post.........

Rant finished.

Now on to the important stuff the link! Over on Chris's blog she has posted her list of advice for writers which is honest, heartfelt, hard won and funny (my personal favorite is number 7. listen to Beeny). Read it to learn and read it to laugh :-)

Now I am sending this out into the blogsphere and I myself may see it this afternoon but then it may be tomorrow!

Thanks

Yesterday among all the chaos a lovely thing happened......a huge pile of wonderful books arrived! My prize for the Novel Racers not quite the winner! Thank you Kate Harrision and Lucy Diamond for dreaming this up back in January. The support and friendship of the group has made the writing process much more fun and less lonely....extra thanks to Lucy Diamond and her wonderful publisher for my stack of books

Novel Racer - Maht of The Moon Topples

Here is Novel Racer Maht of The Moon Topples in his own words (including mine ;-) :

My blurby thing for the novel racers
Liz Fenwick asked me for a blurb about myself and my current novel as a part of the novel racers experience. I am criminally overdue in completing it. Not being good at blurbs, I decided to do it as an interview instead...Moon Topples: Let's play "Questions."Liz Fenwick: How do we play?MT: Like tennis, but we can only converse with questions.LF: (slowly) Okay...I'm not sure you've explained it all that well.MT: But you think you understand enough to give it a whirl?LF: I suppose.MT: I win!LF: Well, we hadn't started yet.MT: Hadn't we?LF: (sighs) Would you like to tell me about your book?MT: The one for novel racers?LF: Are you working on more than one?MT: Is that bad?LF: Is that why you're progressing so slowly?MT: Is that a dig about my word count?LF: Are you a little self-conscious about that?MT: Should I be?LF: Did you know that some of us have already completed our first drafts?MT: So I've lost already?LF: What are you writing about?MT: Are you asking for a plot summary?LF: Is that how you've interpreted my question?MT: During a game of questions?LF: Would it hurt to try?MT: It might.LF: Ha!MT: Dammit.LF: I've won. Now go update your links section and admit that you are a culpa.MT: Me? A culpa?LF: I accept your apology.

Novel Racer - David (DOT)

Well another brave racer has come forward! One of the latest, David (DOT). He's one of the four men we have racing with and the only one brave enough to step forth. Well done! Here's his profile:

"The truth is I fell into writing because I wanted to grow my hair long. This was back in the sixties, you understand; it would be a miracle if I could achieve that now though it would indubitably make me my fortune. So I looked around and picked on advertising as the place for me. After a relative short period by today's standards I got a job as a copywriter. By some fluke, I was good at it. And, for a young person, being a creative in an agency is fun. You're overpaid, spoilt, indulged and generally treated like minor royalty - least you were. In addition, in those days I had no concerns about the general morality of promoting big business because no one had invented phrases like 'multi-national corporations' or 'global marketing'. Indeed, for a brief and it has to be said, unhappy, period I worked at the same agency as Salman Rushdie, Fay Weldon and Dorothy Sayers once had - can't get more respectable.However, I secretly longed to do proper joined-up writing but never had the confidence to really go for it. One problem with copywriting is you never write in your own voice and that is what I lacked. So, when my elder daughter dutifully set off to attend university, I thought why not me. Essay writing might help me find my voice. So I applied to Sussex, was accepted and loved every moment. It certainly created a strong bond between my daughter and self as we would phone each other at periods of low ebb for encouragement. It also did wonders for my confidence."

Sitting in Vermont at my best friend's desk listening to the sound of a rushing river and looking through the fog to the mountains.........life's not too bad. Flights were OK and the Time Traveler's Wife is good but still missing Kate's book. I also managed to do a big rejig on August Rock before the wine hit on the plane!

I won't be here tomorrow as I will be beside a lake in new Hampshire for the wedding :-)

Novel Racer - A. Writer

I am hoping that a few more racers will step up but if not then A. Writer's , http://awriters-blog.blogspot.com/,profile is the last. Here she is:-

"I started writing in mid-2005 after I went into my local WH Smith to buy a book and I didn’t see one that grabbed my attention. I thought it was a whim and that I’d get bored of it after a few days. I was always being told that the ‘wee anecdotes’ that I told people were really funny so I made them into a story. I typed the first 10k words on a palm top computer and that’s when I realised that I might actually want to do this properly. I saved up for a laptop, got it late 2005 and I haven’t looked back since.

It took me about a year to write the first draft of ‘If Not Now, Then When?’. A very personal story of timing and relationships in the chick lit genre. So far about 14 people have read the first draft and all responses have been positive.

Recently, due to personal circumstances I’ve had to postpone the editing ‘If Not Now, Then When?’ and the writing of my second book. I am now exploring the option of short story writing and possibly continuing with the idea I have for book 3.
I currently have two fictional blogs (links can be found on my blog) which are slowly gathering a fan base. I use the ‘fic-blogs’ as a showcase for my writing.

Trained in journalism, I never thought I’d be a creative writer. In fact at college I dismissed a creative writing course saying, ‘Bah! I’ll never do that!’ How wrong I was!
I enjoy writing and I can see me doing it for many years to come. If I never get published so be it, but to know that I have a copy of my book sitting on my bookcase is something I’m very proud of. "

I am sitting in Gatwick airport as I write. Must dash and buy some make up in a moment as I left mine in Cornwall. No doubt the dd has discovered this and is covering herself in it.

My frustration this morning was that I had to leave The Self Preservation Society at home. It's a hard back and I'm pushing the carry on limits as it is! I was almost half way and just loving it. But I also knew it was a book I didn't want to leave behind. So I grabbed the Time Traveler's Wife which has been on my TBR pile for some time. I've started but as I hate flying I don't think it will keep me laughing like Kate's book was!

I am still working on the revision and changes are coming thick and fast. This morning at 5:30 when I was printing off (until I ran out of ink) I was reading Jenny Crusie on the He Wrote / She Wrote Workshop. She was talking about beginnings. She despises prologues. August Rock opens with a very short one. I sat back and thought.......it doesn't have to be a prologue. I could bring a flashback forward and bring it all to the front. So I am about to chop and change again. I have done a great deal of this in the first 30,000 words and I'm having a ball. Right now there is no pain associated with it. I keep sitting back and asking can I make this stronger........and the answer is yes!

A quick thanks to Cally to posting her experiences with ghosts. Because of these I have altered my ghost sequences quite a bit. (There will be more of the ghost issue when I come back to the critiques I've had).

So, I may be here tomorrow depending on connection. If not don't panic if you don't see me until Tuesday. Just think of me partying :-)

Novel Racer - Isabella - Novice Novelist

Well two more racers have come forth! Today we have Novice Novelist, Isabella, http://novicenovelist.blogspot.com/:


"I was born in Belfast, moved to Australia when I was 10 and then back to the UK in my thirties with a fair bit of travelling and moving about in between. The longest I have ever lived in one place is 12 years which I thought was a really long time but I’m beginning to see that it isn’t. I mention the above because everything I write seems to be about finding your place in the world and the importance of friendship. I think that strong friendships make you feel that you always have a home even if you aren’t actually seeing some of your mates on a regular basis. One of my best skills is the long distance friendship – I would win Olympic Gold!!!!

I have had a sporadic relationship with writing for most of my life. It has gone through several phases. I was a playwright for about 7 years and had a couple professionally produced and used as texts for acting students. I was fortunate enough to have a couple of arts council grants to write full time but I found that in my mid twenties this was not for me nor did I have the self confidence to be doing it in such a ‘serious’ way. So I went back into the ‘normal’ workforce and then fell into journalism – something I have been doing on a freelance basis for around 15yrs now. It has only been in the past few years that I have returned to fiction. I got an idea that I realised wanted to be a novel and I’m currently around 61,000 words into it. I live in hope of having a first draft finished by the summer but life frequently gets in the way!!!! I dream of having the ideal work/personal/writing balance!!!

Novice Novelist"

Now I apologize. I am a day out this week. Yes, It was a bank holiday here yesterday which always makes it different but the unexpected happened. It was sunny in our part of Cornwall so I spent most of the day working in the garden. Bliss. Then the whole family went to see Pirates of the Caribbean. Bliss. So please accept my apologies.

I had promised to continue my revision process but it must go on hold this week. Today I head back to London then off to States for best friend's wedding. I don't know what my connections will be and I won't have my reference materials. So I may be blogging or I may not. However I will be tomorrow when I have a. writer's profile :-)

Have read my revision and so far so good. It works and it fits!!!!

Novel Racer - Nichola

Well, when I started the Novel Racers profiles back at the end of April with Jane Henry, I didn't how much fun it would be. I have enjoyed each and every profile and loved seeing a slightly different side of each racer than they show on their own blogs. With Nichola's profile today we will have seen at little bit more of seventeen of our racers. Unfortunately this is it for the moment as the other racers are clearly shy. Here is Nichola, http://thesoupisgettingcold.blogspot.com/:

"I learned to read when I was about two so my bookwormery started early. My gran used to put newspapers and books in front of me, some the right way up, some upside down, to see if I knew which was which, and apparently I always gave her a funny look when she presented the newspaper the wrong way up! She said it was just a silly game but as I grew older, I started devouring books. It’s an addiction I’ve never kicked.

I’ve written stories since the age of about six or seven, never wanted to do anything else with my life. Mrs Perry, one of my primary school teachers, read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to us during story-time and I was intrigued; I nagged my mum to take me to the library for a copy of the book so I could read ahead. The day I realised stories could have that effect on people was a watershed – and when I realised people actually pay for stories; you can write books and make money from it, I was amazed (and excited).

It wasn’t until I was eighteen that I completed my first ‘proper, grown-up’ novel though – 150,000 words of sheer rubbish. My friend Alistair said at the time, “How many people can even say they’ve written a book?” but it’ll never be published, at least in its current incarnation – it breaks every writing rule in the book (if you’ll pardon my pun).

While I was at college a few years ago, one of my assignments was to write the first chapter of a novel and my tutor encouraged me to finish it as she was fascinated by the main character – that one chapter eventually grew into Bird of Prey for which I’m now seeking representation and while I wait to see what happens there, I’m working on something else.

When I’m not writing, I read a lot of course – at the last count I owned just over 450 books so I’m always entertained. I have my own two-bedroom flat, which is just as well, with all the bookcases I need!"

Now yesterday I left you with me and Sol Stein's miraculous book Solutions for Writers. I read the book with high lighter in hand kept thinging OMG that is what I have been doing wrong. The I set to work and before Sol Stein August Rock was almost 91,000 words and by then of the edit it was 87,000 (this subsequently went back up to 89,000 when I worked with some plot issues).



Yesterday I left you with the gift that Lucie had handed me, Sol Stein's Solutions For Writiers. So first I will give you a one sentence demonstration of what this edit did for my writing:

(pre SS) A bee landed on the map. Judith watched its big fat body loaded with pollen try to set off again to find something that was more like a flower than the road map she held. Its wings eventually gained enough momentum to take off in search of greener locations.

(post SS) A bee landed on the map. Judith watched its fat body loaded with pollen try to set off to find something more like a flower. Its wings eventually gained enough momentum to take off in search of greener locations.

The difference is obvious. The sentence is stronger. The image more powerful and it flows. The reader soesn't become lost in a mess of words.

Now the prologue which you have read before is currently staying the same as my last rewrite but to show you the SS cutting I'll post both here for comparision and you can let me know which you think is better!

The first version:

Judith sat on the damp sand watching the incoming tide lap over her pale feet with their bright red toenails. Those red toenails fought so fiercely with the brilliant white lace of her wedding gown yet the tears in her eyes caused it all to blur to pink. She didn’t like pink. Not that anyone cared that she didn’t like the colour. The church was filled with pink flowers. Pink lilies to be precise and the scent of which still filled her nostrils despite the brisk sea breeze coming with the tide.

As she stood in the doorway of the church, all she could see was various shades of pink. Flowers andribbons adorned every pew. The altar was barely visible for all the massed blooms in every shade of the wretched colour; particularly pale pink. Little girls spinning around her knees were covered in pink dresses with pink stinking lilies clutched in their fists.

The heat of the early June afternoon intensified the cloying scent of the lilies to almost overwhelming levels as the soprano above in the choir loft hit the high notes on some hymn she couldn’t remember. Amidst all the pink covering the altar, stood her fiancé, John, in morning coat with a pink waistcoat which beautifully matched the fluffy pink dresses of the flower girls circling her.

Even her maid of honour was covered head to toe in pink with more lilies and carnations clasped in her hands. In her own hands, she held a decadent bouquet of more lilies, carnations, roses and other pink flowers which reached the floor in their cascade. She saw her hands tremble and sweat so much that she almost dropped the entire candyfloss mess on the tile floor.

The salty water of the Gulf Stream took the stiffness out of the lace by her toes so that it
collapsed on her legs. Now she felt at peace with the damn dress; limp, wet, and shapeless like her. A seagull dive bombed in front of her forcing her to wipe her wet eyes so that she could see if he was successful. He was and despite herself she smiled. At least someone got what they wanted.

Now for the latest version:

Judith sat watching the incoming tide lap over her red toenails and wet the brilliant white lace of her wedding gown. Tears caused it all to blur to pink. She didn’t like pink. Not that anyone cared that she didn’t like the colour. The church was filled with pink flowers. Hundreds of lilies to be precise and their scent still filled her nostrils despite the brisk breeze coming in with the tide.

An hour ago she stood in the doorway of the church; all she could see were various shades of pink. Flowers and ribbons adorned every pew. The altar was barely visible for all the massed blooms in every shade of the wretched colour; particularly pale pink. Her fiancé, John, stood among them; tall, blond, perfect yet even he had not escaped the colour with a waistcoat matching the flower girls spinning around her knees clothed in pink dresses with pink stinking lilies clutched in their fists.

The heat of the early June afternoon intensified the cloying scent of the lilies to overwhelming levels, as the soprano in the choir loft hit high notes on some hymn she couldn’t remember. In her hands, she held a decadent bunch of lilies, carnations, roses and other pink flowers which reached the floor in their cascade. She saw her hands tremble and sweat so much that she dropped the candyfloss mess on the floor.

The salty water of the Gulf Stream took the stiffness out of the lace so that it collapsed on her legs. Now she felt at peace with the damn dress; wet and shapeless. A seagull dive-bombed in front of her forcing her to wipe her eyes so that she could see if he was successful. He was and she smiled. At least someone got what they wanted.

The first version has 360 words and the second 299.

Now the current revision is coming on well, dare I say it. Iam enjoying it obviously madness has hit. I never dreamed I say that. I listened to Michelle Styles,
http://michellestyles.blogspot.com/, but I could never understand it. (BTW way she is blogging about why she finds McKee's Story so useful to her writing - it's well worth a look). Now I do. First with each revision I see the script becoming stronger and hence can see the benefit of the slog. Two, I now have a better understanding of what I need to be doing. So this current rewrite I am focusing on plot......

That's all I'll say for now other that if you have time pop of to Therese Fowler's blog, http://theresefowler.blogspot.com/, for a great insight into who does the story belong to? Pertanent to me for A Cornish House.

Novel Racer - Caroline Smailes

Now most of was have been In Search of Adam impatiently waiting until publication date on the 15th June 2007, but poor Novel Racer Caroline, http://insearchofadam.blogspot.com/, has been tearing her hair out. However with all the pre-publication stress she has managed to come up trumps on her profile:



"I’ve always written (diaries, stories and poems), but I never had the confidence to do anything about my dream to be published. I was quite precious about my work when I was younger. Then as I became an adult I still wanted to write, but my life seemed to be circling around being a mum and an academic. I guess that I began to take my writing seriously when I started my MA in Creative Writing in September 2005.

I finished the final draft of In Search of Adam during a holiday in France in August 2006. I had no idea what to do next. My husband designed a website for me and I put on extracts from the novel. I felt that I needed something more interactive and a friend suggested that I started a blog. I launched the blog and the website on August 20th 2006.

I had been blogging for about three weeks and had left a comment on another blog about a book called 'e-luv' by Dave Roberts. He was a Friday Project author. Clare Christian came to my blog and then to my website from my comment on e-luv. She emailed to say she’d read the extract from my novel and wanted to read the full manuscript. It was a Saturday night. On the Sunday morning I emailed the full manuscript to her and by the Monday evening she had offered me a contract. Since then I have had an eight month roller coaster ride with a number of highs along the way. In Search of Adam will be launched in hardback in three weeks time.

As part of the Novel Race I am writing a novel, Black Boxes, which is a story in two parts - box one and box two. It is based on the idea of the black boxes that are extracted from a plane wreck. The reader is to unravel the story to find the cause of the 'crash.' The voices are of a mother and a daughter, focusing on sounds and lost words, but there is an added visual twist thrown in. It's another dark novel and I really hope that it’ll be finished as a second draft by the time ISoA comes out. But part of me is holding back and full of fear as to how ISoA will be received.

I still can’t believe that all of this has happened. I followed a dream when I started my MA and last week I held my novel for the first time. That is a feeling that will stay with me. I dread waking from this dream."








Now as my saga goes on my huge debt to the Romantic Novelist Association will become clear. At their summer party last year in the beautiful library at the Society of Mechanical Engineers on Birdcage Walk. It was a brilliant evening but extra special since my friend Fiona Harper won the New Writers' Award for her first book, Blind Date Marriage. I was so excited it was almost like I had won. So in celebratory mood I drank a touch too much. Soon the crowd had thinned down and I was able to find the food. It was reaching for something to sop up the alcohol that I met the lovely Lucie Whitehouse, then of Darley Anderson. We started chatting and to be honest it was the alcohol talking. We spoke of love lives- hers that is and other ramblings of the alcoholically infused and then she asked me what I wrote. I mumbled about Cornwall and the Helford River. She loves the area and asked me to send it to her. I floated out of the building with Biddy Coady to a pub. Finally when that closed on us she pored me into a taxi home. The next morning with large head I composed a simple cover letter and posted her the 19 pages and synopsis.


Now, I didn't expect an immediate response and I needed to send the whole manuscript off to the New Writers' Scheme of the RNA. I went off to the conference in Penrin quite buoyant. The first to come back was the report from the New Writers' Scheme. My heart sank. When the letter begins, " I enjoyed reading August Rock, Elizabeth. There is much that is good here." I thought, "Oh, shit this had gone to an agent and an editor and it's utter crap." I then took a step back and looked at the good points and the many bad points and consoled myself it wasn't a write off. The reader ended with this:


"In short, Elizabeth, I did think that August Rock showed great promise. What I feel you need to do is have a rethink about a) your characters and b) the main thread of Tristan and Judith's story (especially Tristan's) Bring the romance up to date and avoid cliches..........It's a feat in itself to write a novel of this length and as I said, there is a lot here that is good. Toby's story is excellent - very touching and convincing. If you can achieve the same with Tristan and Judith, you'll have have a very strong story on your hands."

So having read and digested all the bits. I knew my writing style was heavy. I was telling not showing yet I didn't know what to do about it. It's a phrase that is bandied about all the time but I thought having had that criticism for the script the before, First Love Second Chance, I had learnt my lesson. Clearly I hadn't.

Now I didn't want to hear from Lucie. It was the end of August and not a word. I just knew it was such crap that she couldn't be bothered to respond and would avoid me like the plague at all future RNA functions. I knew I was still too close to August Rock to begin a rewrite plus I didn't know where to begin. However the seeds for A Cornish House were growing daily.

I was in Cornwall when the letter arrived in London. Bravely, I think I asked the dh to open it and read it to me. I was shaking waiting for dire words. Her delay had nothing to do with my crap writing but her own success at the same. Her first book, The House at Midnight was coming out in Germany. (It comes out here in January 2008)

So here' what she had to say.......

....plot is i think is very strong indeed...........a strong heroine, a damaged man, tragic deaths, a mystery, a supernatural element.......in short, I think the plot is just right. (my comment here - this is off 19 pages and the synopsis)

Now for the bad........

....your writing is over explanatory and damages the pace and your ability to keep the reader's interest................(Here she took one sentence as I had written it and showed me how to make it stronger - light bulb moment) There are several idea repeated here and they make the writing feel very flat.

Then she pointed me to the direction to fix my writing style.....Sol Steins' Solutions for Writers and as a bonus said if I did a substantial rewrite she would be happy to look at it again!

I was straight to Amazon and was heart broken when it would a month before I could get this book in my hands. In the interim I mind mapped A Cornish House. When it arrived I was glued to it and fired up. Finally I could see what the reader had spoken of and what Lucie meant. I went on to slash and burn my way through August Rock which was brilliant fun!

Tomorrow I will tell you how it went and some examples of of it improved my work.

Novel Racer - Jen at Spiral Skies

I think Novel Racer Jen, http://www.spiralskies.com/, opens her profile the way we all feel when asked to write about ourselves!

"Oh dear… what to write?

Oddly enough, I never doubted that I’d be a writer. From a young age, ‘I love to write’ was a standard response when asked about my pastimes. All well and good but, well, I never actually did any writing. I bought heaps of books about writing and sometimes even read them but that was as far as it went. Hopeless.

Why didn’t I write? Now there’s a question. I suppose I thought that I could write and, if I did, I’d be good at it. But there again, if I actually wrote something, I might turn out to be rubbish. As someone surprisingly lacking in confidence, I took the easy way out. I didn’t write a word. Ever.

During a funny turn one morning, however, I signed up for a short poetry-writing course with the OU. I did ok. I then did their fiction-writing shortie: if I got a decent mark, I would take the plunge and sign up for the scary ‘big one’ in Creative Writing. If I did well in that, I would write the novel I had started as an assignment. I got a distinction. Yay! Maybe I wasn’t rubbish after all.

So, biting my nails and wondering how on earth I was going to manage this novel-writing lark, I happened upon the Novel Racers. And I’m doing it: I’m really writing. ‘Look at me, I’m writing a novel’, I think as I tap away in the dark at the crack of dawn.

I feel proud to be part of the Novel Race – not just the published among us (which are increasing rapidly, how fab!) but the others like me, pottering along and trying to type with our fingers crossed. The Novel Racers support is great; I doubt I’d have got this far without it.

So, while others have finished their first drafts or submitted to publishers, I’m bumbling along and have reached the 25% mark. I shall continue my daily torture in Retail Hell, continue my neglect of the housework and keep at it. Tap tap tap. A hundred words here, a hundred words there. Watch this space!"

First to say that strangely the revision went well and was actually fun yesterday. I do have that feeling that it is totally crap but then again that is what all writers seem to think all the time. However this truly could be so I will look on the bright side - I went from nought to 12% in the day!

Now as promised a little history of August Rock. The idea began when we were in our boat (a 15 ft dory) just in Falmouth Bay just out of the Helford River. I was looking at the charts and asked my husband what was this thing August Rock? He pointed to a buoy and I said yes so what? He replied that August Rock could only be seen during the very low tides in August. I thought cool sounds like a tittle for a book. August Rock was born.

That was at the end of August and the combination of many things churned about in my head until driving in the rain on the way back to London for the start of school that the whole story began in my head. American Judith Chambers flees her own wedding and escapes to the wilds of Cornwall to help Tristan Trevenen to catalogue the papers of his recently deceased father Petroc Trevenen, garden historian of note. He needs this done so that he can complete probate and sell this glorious historic estate on the Helford River.

I wrote 15,000 words before Christmas. Researched historic Cornish Gardens (none of which ever made it into the book!) and wrote the remaining 85,000 from January to the end of March. Now here comes the part where I cringe. I was at the March meeting of Romantic Novelist Association where a panel had spoken about the state of the current market. The panel consisted of and agent from Darley Anderson, a best selling novelist and an editor from Orion. When the talk had finished everyone swamp the agent from Darley but the lovely editor from Orion was left standing on her own. Now those of you that know me, I am too well brought up to leave someone alone so I went to chat - not to sell. However she pulled out of me what I was writing and she liked the sound of it. Asked if I had an agent...no. Well, send a few chapters anyway....I said I would. She said don't rush but to finish it etc.

Needless to say I went home and worked like a demon. Polished as I knew how to then (utter crap) and had a few friends check the first three chapters (only 19 pages) for typos and so on. Then I held my breath and sent it. A few months later her reply came back.....and it was very polite no thanks and hopes that I found and agent soon. Exact words .... "It's an atmospheric read, and the character of Judith is strong but at present we have such a full schedule we really have to pick and choose."

Now you are wondering why this is cringe making.....well I'll tell you about the agent tomorrow and all will become clear but let' just say that my naivety knew no bounds.

Novel Racer - Chris

Here's the profile of the newest addition to the Novel Racers - Chris, http://homethoughtsweekly.blogspot.com/:

'I knew that I wanted to be writer when I won a tin of chocolates in a competition at school so what did I do about it? Well, I went to UEA but didn’t do the prestigious creative writing course, I went into a so-called proper job because I needed the money and along the way I sold a couple of articles. All this time I was writing books in my head and, except for a couple of failed Mills & Boons, that’s pretty much where they stayed even when I joined the Romantic Novelists’ Association.

After a family bereavement I finally woke up to the fact that unless I took a professional approach to my writing I’d end up living half a life, always wondering what might have been. Last June I picked up the twenty thousand words of a typescript that I’d been mucking about with for years and sat down to finish it. In February I sent it to Hilary Johnson, who I’d met through the Romantic Novelists Association, for an appraisal by her Authors’ Advisory Service.
Hilary passed the book to an agent and I’m nervously waiting for that outcome. Slight understatement – I’m nearly climbing the walls – so the novel racers are just what I need to make me get on with Novel 2.

In the meantime I’ve had non-fiction work published by Honno in an anthology, ‘Strange Days Indeed’ and now know the thrill of holding a proper book, to which I’ve contributed, in my hand! '

I'm still smiling from the launch of Wanna Be A Writer on Saturday. I haven't finished the book but I have already decided it would be required reading for anyone contemplating this crazy life!!! Jane Wenham-Jones lays it all on the table with such humour you are given a true picture. God, help I am still continuing!!!! By the way I skipped to the back and she's running a great contest there - go check it out ;-)

On the writing front, my fingers have hit the keys again. I have thought August Rock through and have started the re-write. As I mentioned my goal is to have this rewrite complete in time for the Daily Mail Novel of the Year contest. With all that is currently going on in my life this may be unrealistic. Their deadline is 2nd July. I am moving house on the 10th July and before that I have half term, my best friend's wedding in the states and a dirty weekend with my dh in Venice plus the RNA Conference in Leicester! However I'm going for it as I have lose to lose but my sanity.

Over the course of this week along with the few profiles I have left (hint hint). I will be sharing the feedback on August Rock that I have had - the good, the bad and the ugly. In some cases I will show you have I have learned from this feedback and finally what I am doing now to kick this baby into shape. Hopefully by doing this it will cement it all in my mind. So rewrite number 5 is in full swing!!

News Flash - Racer Rachel Green To Be Published!

Rachel left a comment on my blog that announced her news....... https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=34330113&postID=3661583115839658841. She tells us that Ungodly Child the first Harold and Jasfoup novel is about to be published!

She also is a finalist in http://www.undiscoveredauthors.co.uk/winnerannouncements.html for the same novel. Way to go Rachel :-)

Novel Racer - Cally

Here's one of newest Racers, Cally, http://callytaylor.blogspot.com/.

"I’m in my early thirties and am one of those annoying people that claims to have been writing since she knew how to. As a child I loved to write and draw and created lots of little ‘books’ that I hole-punched and tied together with wool. I even sent one off to Penguin when I was eight. It was rejected, of course, but I received a lovely rejection letter (probably the nicest one I’ve ever received) and it didn’t deter me from writing more (ah, for that kind of youthful determination again!).I’ve continued to write on and off since then (mostly terrible, terrible poetry during my teens and early twenties) and started my first novel in 2004 – a YA effort. About 52,000 words in I suffered a big plot wobble (was it too dark for a YA audience?) and stopped writing to think about the plot and…never got started again. Instead I started writing short stories which I instantly loved writing because there was much less slog and you could produce a complete story so quickly. Since then my stories have been published in print and online and last year I was Runner Up in the Woman’s Own short story competition and my story and photo (eek!) were published in the magazine.In February this year I saw the ad for the Waterstones/Cosmopolitan chick-lit competition and decided to enter. I’d had a kind of chick-lit with a twist idea for a novel for a while and it needed writing. It’s probably too ‘out there’ for the competition but I’m loving writing it (despite my constant protestations to the contrary) and I’m determined to finish it. When it’s finished I’m going to go back and finish my YA novel. 52,000 words is too much work to abandon so cruelly!"

So, I am waiting to hear from all the other racers. I have one more profile to post and then we're finished.........come on and don't be shy!!!!

I'm back from Budapest and its good to see the sun shinning here. I am all fired up to begin the rewrite of August Rock. I read Donald Maass's book Writing the Breakout Novel. This fueled my notes and now begins the transformation! I'll keep you posted.

Novel Racer - JJ

Where to start with today's Novel Racer, JJ, http://tea-stains.blogspot.com/?
Maybe with the porn star name incident. How she knew this twist on life I won't venture to guess - but you take your first pet's name and then your mother's maiden name and voila you have your porn star name! I won't repeat mine here..........too embarrassing for words. So with that little introduction here's JJ in her own words:

"I’ve wondered all my life about what I should do for a career. I’ve never stopped looking in the recruitment pages of the newspaper. It’s interesting to think it might have been obvious all the time, but I resisted writing because my mum encouraged it, and I didn’t know if I wanted it for her or me.

My few years in conventional employment were spent in an archaeological charity and a university, while beginning and aborting writing novels. While I was at home with small children I was offered the chance to broadcast some talks for Radio 2’s Pause for Thought. I wrote and recorded around 6 or 7 talks in total, got paid and had a day and half away from babies.

When my second child was two I realised I was going stir crazy so I started a part-time foundation course in Art and Design, which led to a full time degree in Fine Art, specialising in Sculpture. I discovered while making art that I didn’t need to write, and since not making art, I learned that I positively need to write. It seems I need one or the other.

I’d been lurking in the shadows of Kate Harrison’s blog for a long while, and I took the plunge and emailed her about joining the novel racers. It has been an enormous support in preventing me from declaring my crapness and quitting again."

Budapest is still lovely although the temperature has dropped thanks to a wild storm that blew through early evening. I have been taking it very slowly and just enjoying wandering through the city. I spent several hours in the National Museum yesterday. I find it fascinating to see what partings they choose and what their subjects are. Why? Well, it reveals what parts of history are most important to them them for one and two looking at the subject matter shows the focus of the Nation. So what was feeling coming out of the museum? Well, there seems to be a huge emphasis on the individual as the portraits were stunning. The landscapes were beautifully rural. What I walked away loving was the beautiful wooden carved altar pieces. Stunning.

So you may have noted there is a new progress meter on the side bar. Why you ask? Well, I am still undecided about how to proceed with A Cornish House but I know what I need to do with August Rock. Then there is the matter of the Daily Mail Novel of the Year prize, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/books/authors.html?in_article_id=443515&in_page_id=1826. Now I know I haven't a hope in hell of winning but it does give me a target. The deadline is July 2nd. Now I know that A Cornish House is a better novel than August Rock but there is no way I can whip that baby into shape by 2nd July however it might just be possible with August Rock. So I hope to be sharing with you the struggle to rewrite August Rock for the fifth time. If any of you have any insights into rewriting then please share. Any one else taking a stab at the Daily Mail competition?

One final note, fellow Novel Racers, I need your profiles.......please send them. Thanks :-)

Novel Racer - Kate Kingsley

Today's Novel Racer is Kate Kingsley, http://thedeadbeatsnovelinprogress.blogspot.com/, and she has a wedding coming up. Reading the stresses she is going through through reminds me of all the one I have happily forgotten from almost sixteen years ago. Here's Kate in her own words:

"For as long as I can remember, I know that I wanted to be a writer. As a child I would read voraciously, and I made a few early forays into writing: I would take a book, any book, read a few pages and then rewrite them in a style which I found more to my taste. This early attempt at developing technique lead to a varied selection of adaptations, from Jeffrey Archer to Kafka by way of a chapter of an encyclopedia on wolves.

And then at some point it all stopped. I don't remember when or why. I continued to immerse myself in books, studying Literature at university and going so far as embarking upon a Masters in contemporary literature with a view to full time academic literary study and teaching. But the writing stopped. This was probably due to fear of failure, and I was extremely self-conscious about professing any authorly ambitions as I expected to receive a guffawing "You! A writer! Don't be so daft. Who do you think you are, anyway?" in response.

The idea never truly evaporated, and I sometimes wonder if denying my innate inclination to write may have contributed to the aimlessness of the years following university ~ when you dare not do the one thing you long to do, everything else seems a bit pointless. Eventually I realized that it was better to be laughed at then get to the age of 97 having never tried to live my dream. Around them same time, felicitously, I read a few awful books, and I just KNEW that I could do better. Some gentle encouragement from a poet friend and my fiancé, combined with an idea that buzzed in my head like an angry wasp and refused to go away until I wrote it, and here I am working my way through the first draft of my first novel, which is centred on a fictional rock band, The Deadbeats, in 1960's Newcastle. The draft is coming along slowly but surely, as over the last few years I took on a part-time psychology degree along with my full-time job, and I find that I am guilty of stretching my available time (and sanity) to snapping point.

I am currently writing under the (not quite my real) name of Kate Kingsley, although I have had a few modest successes with short stories and poetry under my "other" name. I suppose I started the blog under a variant identity because that little germ of self-consciousness is still there, and I didn't really want any family friends stumbling upon it and demanding to see what I'd produced so far. Hopefully I shall soon be in a position to "reveal" myself, but I have to admit I am rather enjoying the super-hero type dual identity!"

Budapest........well fabulous. Today as I write the sky is again blue and my head is ok. Once released from the clutches of the conference the Dh and I wandered the hot city streets looking for the perfect cafe to sit and sip a cold glass of wine. This was incredibly difficult because this part of the city is filled with open air cafes. Finally we elected one near the Cathedral where the view was great, the wine cold but questionable, and the salami fabulous. The view was stunning of the cathedral with piercing blue sky behind.

Then on the recommendation of an acquaintance we went to a restaurant called Nosztalgia. Well, it was. The decor was reminiscent of the pre WWI with live classical music being lead by a feisty violinist. I have posted a rather dodgy snap of the interior. The food was good but the atmosphere was a pleasure........such fun to half close your eyes and picture life here a hundred years ago. The closing of eyes had nothing to do with the copious quantities of the wine :-) Can't blame to the picture quality on that either. I wanted to capture it without flash!

Jen asked in the comment to the last post how my writing dilemma was going..........well, after a discuss with niece (28)and nephews 26 & 23) I am thinking about YA again. Why? You ask what books they remember and its the ones they read in their teens...........

Novel Racer - Rachel Green

Well, a new week and onto the next Racer, Rachel Green, http://leatherdykeuk.blogspot.com/. Rachel I think has the most intriguing hobbies....Here she is in her own words:


"When someone mentions ‘the voices in my head,’ most peoples immediate reaction is to smile politely and look for the nearest exit, hoping that the person they’re talking to doesn’t have a machete hidden under their hospital issue nightgown.

Not so with writers. We call those voices ‘muses’ and quickly learn to turn their suggestions into prose. Great reams of prose. Sometimes rubbish, often mediocre and, very occasionally, an absolute gem.

Can I help it if my muse is a demon? He’s been promoted since he’s been with me and has even guest-starred in a couple of stories by other writers. Not that I’m jealous. I just wonder what he promised them.

My current WIP is the story of a young lady who becomes a werewolf. She has a few problems coming to terms with this, not least of which is how to hod a teacup when you’ve lost your opposable thumbs.

Jasfoup stays with me until tea-time, after which he allows me to pursue my other interests: Historical defence (rapier, saber, cutlass) and, recently, kobudo (Eastern weapon forms). Once in a while I actually see my family too: two wives, two kids and two dogs. My wives are the tall ones without hairy feet."

My weekend was wonderful but busy beyond words and as I write these words I am sitting in a hotel in Budapest! We just arrived after a rising at 4:45 this morning. Knackered? Me, no. I am just trying to find my bearing before venturing out in the 33 degree Celsius sunshine. So this week I will be blogging from Budapest. It has a ring to it -doncha think?

A huge thank you to Kate and Lucy and all the racers for awarding me the prize. I don't feel I should have it but I would never say no to books! The real winner was Kate Harrison followed by Zinnia. So Zinnia, email and I'' share the prize :-). Now Budapest waits!

P.S. Caroline, I am now searching for Adam in Budapest........will post picutres later.