Having read Any Human Heart by William Boyd this summer I feel closer to the protagonist more now than ever. Through out the book you get a sense of his never growing older inside even though he sees the external changes. In my mind I am perpetually 28. However the external signs of aging are arriving quick and fast. The latest is a real outward marker. Thanks to my endless hours on the computer the natural deterioration of my eye sight has spend up. No surprises there but when the optician tells you the vari-focals are the answer what do you say? In side I yelled "Hell no. I'm not that old." While I politely said, "Do I really need them?" So despite my ipod and current play list, despite my none agey clothes and hair style I am old.
On a brighter note thanks to author Michelle Styles (her web site)insight on eharlequin message boards I have had a light bulb moment. I think the reason that I had come to a grinding halt on my revisions is that although I was making the writing tighter I wasn't upping the tension as much as I felt it needed. The critique by my NWS reader mentioned that she didn't care for Tristan. He wasn't strong enough. In my heart I disagreed strongly but then I know Tristan inside and out. I clearly haven't put that on the pages.
So with Michelle's illuminating words I suddenly saw how I could up the tension and show some of the internal conflict that was happening in Tristan and highlight the external conflict with Judith at the same time. The only other problem is on a personal basis I am not one for conflict in fact I have spent my life avoiding it unless I was fighting for someone else. So I have to let go of my own feelings and let the real Tristan show through.
So crows of doubt you can fly away while I ramp up the tension in the book before I go back to making the writing tighter :)