Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Feeling Low

I have no right to be down but I am. I am living in one of the top holiday destinations and the sun shines everyday. I do not have to do much cleaning as nice people appear every two days to do it for me. We have been living in this hotel apartment for just over a month now and I have another month to go before we can move into our villa. All my things were backed up back on the 11th of July. I am missing them.

My baby turned fifteen this week. I say baby but my eldest last time I saw him stood at five foot ten and towered over me. I want to know where the time went. Here is a picture of him when he was my baby and we were living in Calgary.

I want to start writing the book in my head but I need to practice discipline and finish at least one rewrite of A Cornish House.

Ramadan is almost over and I am sooooooo ready for the coffee shops to be open in the day. My dd goes on half term today and finished just as the boys arrive for theirs - great timing!

On a positive note I have book my tickets for my November trip when my middle turns 13! I am taking him to Dublin for the weekend and as a bonus I can go to the Romantic Novelist Christmas party!


JJ said...

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling low. It's not about whether you have any 'right' to feel down. If you think about it that way, then you can add guilt to your list of negative emotions.

Remember what you've done: an international move with part of your family. You may be an experienced expat, Liz - even one who has lived in Dubai before and has friends there - but (I'm sure) you know about culture shock and some reaction to your move is absolutely inevitable.

Go easy on yourself. Be gentle with the things you think you have to do. See people don't stay home too much berating yourself for 'not writing/editing/drafting' etc.

Don't expect too much to quickly, and normality will return soon.

Thinking of you, remembering my first year... Lots of hugs,

Nell said...

Hugs, Liz. I can't imagine what the upheaval you've gone through has been like. But it will get better - that I do know and having the kids around will help.

Jan Jones said...

Hugs from me too, Liz.

Forget the discipline. Start writing the book in your head. That's the one in your heart, right now.

Speaking from experience, rewrites on previous books go much better the more distance you give them. You need to recapture the joy of writing first.

THEN, when you re-read ACH, it'll be less of an uphill struggle and more of an "oh, yes, that's how it should go. Why didn't I see that before?"

Well, it works for me, anyway.

See you in November. I've got your party ticket waiting for you.

Biddy said...

*tackle hugs Liz*

I'm sorry you are so down honey. I think something is on retrograde as well so you can also blame it on that.

I agree with Jan, start writing the book in your heart. You need to give yourself a break.

Can't wait to see you in November.

Bids xx

Lane said...

We have sod the discipline and schedules sometimes and just do the opposite of what our sensible head tells us. As soon as those coffee shops open, get down there and start scribbling the new book.

Hope you're feeling better soon. The children being home and a trip to Dublin (greeeen with envy) will make all the difference.

Flowerpot said...

Sorry to hear you're feeling down Liz. I agree wth all Jj said. Don't be too hard on yourself. Also glad to hear you are going to the RNA party. I'm hoping to get there and it would be good to meet at last!

Helen said...

Liz lots of hugs from me too. I echo all that has been said above me. Don't berate yourself, just give yourself time, and when they reopen, lots of coffee and relaxation. I've never been an expat - tho husband is from an expat family - and I can imagine it is hard initially, even for an experienced one such as yourself. xxxx

NoviceNovelist said...

Hi Liz, Just wanted to agree with what the other lovely writers before me have said - be kind to yourself and do some little things that give you pleasure - hot bath with candles and a glass of bubbly maybe? I think sometimes if you are a capable person (and you certinaly are!!) it is too easy to be hard on yourself when you think you should be doing more. Banish 'should' for a bit and go with what your heart needs. And dream of Dublin - sounds great!!!!
take care Isabella x

ChrisH said...

Oh Liz, I'm 'with' you on the write/rewrite. I'm longing to get on with an idea for a new book but I HAVE to finish my rewrite first or I'll let myself down but, gosh, it's hard.

On the feeling down front,you must be exhausted - look how much you've done in the past few months - the others here have given you lots of advice so you have sympathy from me and best wishes.
It might cheer you up to know that my 'baby' was 22 this week!!! Have no idea where that time went! Guess that means I should go back to my rewrite NOW!

Phillipa said...

Liz - why shouldn't you feel down? To tell you the truth, I'm *really* feeling the emptiness of the house here too, now my dd's back at uni. She's a real friend to me - I miss our girly lunches and shopping and working alone is so...lonely and boring right now!

And my dd is only 90 miles away so no wonder you miss your boys and Cornish family life so much. I know your life sounds glamorous but I actually think you have quite a tough time, moving around so much.

I'll be at the party so look forward to seeing you there. Please visit my blog - there's something for you.

Anonymous said...

Big changes call for big pampering. Go and treat yourself to something that you know will make you feel good. Pay attention to any negative thought tracks that may be pulling you under and turn them on their head if you can. Living in a temporary situation is always depressing, you can't settle in or get too comfortable. I just know you'll feel loads better once you get into a space you can make your own.

Cathy said...

I can't really add anything to all the wonderful advice you have already been given. But hugs from me, my oldest turned sixteen this week so I know what it is like to see your baby suddenly turning into a tall man!

cs harris said...

It's probably culture shock. Somehow it's worse when it's insidious and sneaks up on you, and you think you really should be beyond all that nonsense. I can remember waking up one night in our hotel apartment in Amman and wanting to run screaming for the nearest border! At first I thought it'd just came out of no where, but then I realized it'd been building. I even went through it when we moved to New Orleans. Maybe go do something indulgent that reminds you of whatever you consider "home."

Alyssa Goodnight said...

What a cutie! My boys are still young and time is flying by, but I try to take a few moments here and there to just appreciate them as they are now.

Your trip sounds like great fun!

liz fenwick said...

THANK YOU< THANK YOU. For some reason I couldn't get onto blogger to post replies yesterday - it might have been the sand storm.

I can't tell you what your support means. Yes, i have culture shock. Yes, i need to let myself go a bit and not crack the whip and yes I can at leat put the first bits of the new book on paper because I realize I am afraid it will all slip away never to be found again.

Yes, i did pamper myself a bit and cut myself some serious slack.

Dublin will be bliss :-)

hesitant scribe said...

late as ever but just want to say that it is so difficult to adjust when you move. but it gets better once you start meeting people. as you know. you are very brave though cos i was only in europe and that was hard enough! the cultural adjustment must be enormous... hugs all round!

p.s. write about it!