Books, Bears and Chocolate (or Like Mother Like Daughter)

Spent the most wonderful morning with DD at the Kensington Dollshouse Festival. It was a delight for the eyes and a continuous lesson in saying no - for me as much as DD. We kept pulling each other this way and that trying not miss the miniature things. We both lusted after a beautiful Art Deco house that was for sale and a beautiful chandelier that worked...but these items were far more than our meagre budget but we could dream.

I must confess we didn't escape without succumbing...both DD and I have a passion for bears...so her dolls' house now has garden furniture and a collection of bears and of course they couldn't sit in the garden without food and entertainment....chocolate cake, some beverage and a few books to read - the complete Twilight series (now I might have chosen different books for them to read, but they are her bears so the ten year old won that one and I might have selected the beautiful Bristol blue glasses, but we were down to our last pennies so the thought was there. I of course would have filled them with wine, but I think heard they to have hot chocolate to go with there cake).

We then went out to lunch and of course the bears had to come out and have lunch too... (the waitress was delighted)

Then we went home and they needed more refreshment (bears are very hungry creatures)...so here they will live until we go to Cornwall and they can join the dolls' house but then maybe they will want to come back to London or Dubai and play with me...

No Explosives Dreams

I am now so immersed into A Cornish House I can't shift out of it to find my voice for Explosive Dreams at the moment. Please excuse me for the week's break.

Links Again

In case you are like me and are desperate to know what went on at the London Book Fair Masterclass then hop over to Deb's blog for a great report filled with wise words.

As I am working through the rewrite it was good to read Katie Fforde's sound advice here about sagging middles.

Now back to head down over the rewrite and will hopefully add next chapter of Explosive Dreams tomorrow.

Laugh

Yesterday the dd started whimpering in the back of the car as we were stopped at a traffic light. I asked what was wrong and she replied she was scared. I asked what of???? She pointed to the truck next to us in the queue which contained orange cooking gas cylinders. I didn't see what could frighten her about this then I read the name of the company of the door of the truck........Al Boom Gas!

I might have to use that in this weeks chapter of Explosive Dreams but then maybe not as Al Boom is just a last name like Smith........

Dickens Challenge - Explosive Dreams Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

I sat in the hall and waited for my students. I watched them walk in still in their overalls. They took their seats quietly with eyes cast down. After six months of English classes with me they still didn’t look me in the eyes and I still found it hard to relate to people who wouldn’t look at me. At least they worked hard at the lessons.

Once all of them were seated I stood up. I pushed down the nerves that always reared up when I was in front of a class. This was at least something useful and meaningful. If they learned to speak English they could get a better job and their lives would improve or at least that is what I told myself. It was so unlike the day time teaching I did to overstuffed and arrogant business men. That paid for my shopping habit that Tom was so scathing about. It’s not that I used his money to fund my shopping. No I used my own.

“Good evening.” I spoke clearly and slowly.

“Good evening, Miss Samanatha.”

Still they didn’t look at me but at the board behind me with their key words for today boldly drawn in black. I pushed my thoughts away and began the class.

Fr Simon standing at the back of the hall smiling reminded me that I had run over the hour again. The men would be itching to leave as they had so little free time as it was. I sent them on their way.

The old priest walked towards me and I wanted to hide. Some how he made me feel guilty and I wasn’t even Catholic.

“Birthday greetings for tomorrow, Sam.”

“Thanks.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“Big plans?”

“None.”

“Low key – good.” He smiled.

“You’re after something ,Father.”

“Am I?”

“Yes.”

He laughed. “I am indeed. I don’t suppose you have time to teach another class. I know you already teach three but this is for a group of women.”

“That would make a change. You always seem to send me the men.”

“You can handle them.”

“Thanks.” I looked at him and couldn’t help feeling that there was more to this request. I had been teaching English classes for Fr. Simon for five years now. Where he found these people I didn’t know. None of them were Catholic but all of them needed help. This evening’s class was mostly men from Bangladesh. “When?”

“It would be early morning.”

“How early?” My mind raced to the early morning rituals. Tom didn’t mind doing the school run but was lost in himself during his morning rituals and didn’t seem capable of getting Ollie up and breakfasted.

“Early.”

“Confess.” I put my hand over my mouth.

“Not to you my dear.” He winked. “It would be five.”

“Five? You weren’t joking about early. Who are these women and what do they do?”

“Maids. It would be their only free time.”

My mind raced to the schedule these poor women kept. Although they were paid to my eyes many of them were treated as slaves working all hours.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Call me.”

“Will do.” Yet I knew and he knew my answer. I would teach these women. If they could speak English their opportunities opened if they could manage to leave their current employers.

“Have a good day tomorrow. I will keep you in my prayers.”

“I thought you always did.”

“I do but something tells me you need them more right now.”

I slipped away before he could see the tears in my eyes. Blasted old man could see far too much. I almost ran to my car. I didn’t see the damn traffic as I drove home. Ollie would be tucked up in bed and asleep. I could go straight to Becca’s. I needed a drink. Tom wouldn’t be waiting for me. He’d be working on his lap top oblivious to my presence in the house.

“Knew you would come.” Becca held a glass of champagne out to me.

“Surprise!” shouted ten of my girlfriends in unison.

“You idiots!” More tears broke through. My head swung from one face to another.

“We thought you needed champagne and a rich dark chocolate cake to prepare you for life as a forty year old.” Becca pointed to the most decadent cake I had ever seen.

“Bring it on. I sure as hell need something.” I took the knife and sliced through making a wish. I just wanted to go back ten years to when Tom and I were a real couple and not the shell that we are now. Well, there was no hope in hell in that happening but the cake looked divine.
The knife was grabbed from my hand I was shepherded into the sitting room and pushed into a chair. A table was filled with gloriously coloured parcels.
“Hey, guys, I thought we agreed we were going to forget this birthday.” I pleaded with all the laughing faces around me.
“Not on your life girl. You need to embrace this decade.”

“Yes, the best is yet to come.”

I could only wish they were right but I knew they weren’t. The first parcel was placed in my hands.

“Rip it open girl. Don’t keep us waiting.”

I looked up and wondered what they had up there sleeve. Was I going to find a batch of age creams I wondered?

“Peggy, what on earth you expect me to do with this?” I held up the skimpiest piece of fabric that could only just be called knickers.

“Flaunt your stuff in front of Tom!”

“I don’t think he will notice.”

“If not then you need this.”

I was handed another box to open. I shook it.

“No trying to guess.”
I tore the paper off and delved in to the tissue to pull out the biggest vibrator I had ever seen. My hand shook.

“Who will own up to giving me this?” I waved the object in the air as hoots of laughter abounded. “Come on? Sue, you handed me the box?”

“It wasn’t me.”

I turned the damned thing on, passed it round then downed my champagne. They meant well but had no idea.

Argh.......

Sorry, I've been neglectful of the blog but its been the boys final few days here. DS1 left this morning and DS2 leaves tomorrow morning. So we have been squeezing in the films we haven't watched this time, the shopping that always gets left until the last minute, and then the blasted labeling of clothes that must be done..........

I hate it when they go.

Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with next installment of Explosive Dreams and normal schedule will return.

Dickens Challenge - Explosive Dreams Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

A grey toxic haze hung over the Dubai skyline as I drove down Al Wasl Road. I didn’t know what I was going to say to this counsellor. A good start might be - I was 39 and three hundred and fifty one days old and a mess.

The traffic was appalling but what was I to expect with a major explosion at 7:15 am and a blazing toxic fire on going. A text had come from the school saying they were keeping the children inside all day. The air was heavy with chemicals and I couldn’t help thinking that it was something more than an accidental explosion in a fire works factory.

I eventually made to the clinic and hauled my body into reception. I didn’t want to do this. It would be better to just dig a hole in the sand and stick my head in it. What could any one say to me other than I was completely mad. I was delusional. I saw things that weren’t there.

“Mrs. Samantha, please take a seat. It won’t be a few minutes. We’re all running late because of the traffic.”

I nodded.

“Did you hear the explosion this morning?”

“Yes.” I really didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to talk about anything. I wanted to shop. That was it. I needed to shop. Shopping would make all of this go away.
The phone on the desk rang.

“The doctor’s ready to see you now.”

I stood up and looked at the door. Mango called my name. The mall wasn’t far and I remembered the little dress I saw just before I flew to Jakarta. A few quick steps and I would be out of here.

“It’s the first door to the left.”

I nodded and forced my feet that way and not to the car park on the right. This was what I was supposed to do. I wanted to fix my marriage didn’t? This was the first step, wasn’t it?
I put one foot in front of the other noticing the chipped black paint on my big toe. I should go have that fixed asap. I must put my priorities straight, toe nails were important. I hesitated before I turned the handle then walked in to see a small woman behind a large desk. I swallowed.

“Samantha, take a seat.”

I perched on the edge of the seat.

“I don’t bite.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely.” She smiled and I leaned back a bit in the chair. “So tell me why you are here?”

“I thought you said you didn’t bite.” I sat back up.

“I don’t but when you booked the appointment you didn’t tell the receptionist why you did.”

“Didn’t I?”

“No, so now is the time to tell me why you are here.”

“I guess.” I paused. I didn’t know how to say it. Did one just spit it out? “I…I don’t know really.”

“Somehow I don’t think that’s true but time will tell. So your form tells me tomorrow is your fortieth birthday. Do you have big plans?”

“No. No plans at all.”

“That is strange.”

“Is it?”

“I’m sure your husband will have planned something.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure.”

“So you are here to talk about your marriage.”

My head shot up. There were no flies on this petite woman. “Maybe.”

“Yes, maybe indeed.”

“How do you feel about the big 40?”

“Shit.” I bit my tongue. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize. So you are worried about aging and your marriage. Anything else?”

“Why don’t you tell me as you are doing well so far?”

She sat back in her chair and smiled. “You will tell me yourself in time. When did you notice trouble with your marriage?”

“Well, I guess the doubt solidified in my head about a year ago.”

“Is he having an affair?”

“I don’t think so. I don’t think he could keep it up at home and outside.”

“So there is no problem with sex.”

“No, none.” I looked at my hands. Why was everyone so concerned with my sex life?

“So if he is not having an affair that you know of what do you think is the problem?”

“I.” I looked out the window behind her. What was the problem? “Belief.”

“You have religious differences?” Her eyebrow rose.

“No, I don’t mean that.” I waited for her to ask me more but she sat there complacently as if she had all the time in the world. I prayed for something to happen. Anything would do, maybe another explosion. I didn’t want to talk yet she was leaving this gaping silence in front of me. I felt compelled to jump in and just start blathering like an idiot.

The phone rang.

“Excuse me.”

Prayers were answered. I felt my shoulders return to their normal position.

“Sorry about that. The school has just called. I have to go.” The pint sized woman stood up from her desk.

“No problem. I wonder if they are closing my son’s school. Strange that I haven’t heard anything.” I followed behind her.

“There will be no charge for this session. Reschedule.”

I nodded. I didn’t want to but couldn’t slip past the receptionist without the doctor seeing me leave. I booked for next Sunday knowing I could cancel it as soon as I left the office.
It looked as though it was going to rain and air smelted heavy. My phone beeped as soon as I reached my car. A message from Tom glared at me.

Where the hell are you? I have been trying to reach you for the last half hour. There is no answer at home. School closed. Collect Ollie. I’m in a meeting and can’t leave.

Dickens Challenge - Explosive Dreams Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

I held the cup between my fingers and looked out the patio door to the two blond head bent over their porridge. They were so alike yet one loved me and other didn’t. Tom and I didn’t speak last night after I told him about what I heard on the plane and what I saw at the ski slope. I wasn’t sure if it was my fault or his. He just told me to stop dreaming things up and that my imagination had gone haywire with this one. I just stopped speaking after that. I mean if he couldn’t at listen to my fears then what point was there and having any other conversation. I listened to his hopes and fears yet he wouldn’t bestow me the same courtesy.

“Mum, could I have some more milk?”

“Sure, love.” I walked to the kitchen and noted the cat had wolfed down his food. The dirty stop out had spent the night terrorizing the local gecko population and was no doubt asleep on my former bed as I poured the milk. I wondered if he would move to the guest room or would his loyalties remain with Tom and the four poster bed after all the cat loved luxuries.

I picked out a few words in their conversation – Hamilton, Räikkönen – to know that they were discussing Ollie’s favourite thing F1 racing. I placed the milk down and slipped back into the sitting room. Although I enjoyed watching the odd race I couldn’t deal with continuous discussions of the pros and cons of which car or which tyre.

I looked at my watch. It was ten past seven and Ollie would be late if I didn’t chivvy them along. I was waiting for them to go this morning so that I could speak to a counsellor. I couldn’t keep this anger building up any more.

“Finished, Ollie?” I watched him spoon the last mouthful in and Tom sipped his coffee. My eyes lingered on his lips and I couldn’t stop the yearning to kiss it again. I turned away.

The air went still and then the windows shook. The curtains billowed out vertical. A deep cratering sound filled the air.

“What the hell was that?” Tom was standing and looking to the sky.

“What ever it was it was close.”

“That was so cool. Did you see Pasha jump?” Ollie was on his feet pointing at the cat who was obviously not on my bed but now beside the sofa. “What exploded?”

“I don’t think it was an explosion. Sounded more like a collapse, a big collapse.” Tom was looking over the garden wall. A few more explosions could be heard.

I was standing totally still as a cloud of smoke rose just to the south in the direction of the mall. I walked to the kitchen and turned on the radio to see if there was any news. The morning radio shows picked things up quickly like the latest crash of Sheik Zayed Road. Hopefully they would end the suspence.

“You two had better head off. Traffic will be affected.” I shouted from the kitchen as I checked Ollie’s bag. Did he have PE to day? What day was it?

Reports just in that there is an explosion just off of Sheik Zayed Road near interchange three, drive carefully as traffic is already backing up. We will let you know more when we have details.

“What were they saying?” Tom strode into the room clutching his briefcase.

“An explosion near Sheik Zayed Road, interchange three. No other details at the moment.”

“I just hope it wasn’t a chemical explosion. The smoke is coming this way.” His eyes met mine and then he bent to pick up Ollie’s bag.

“I’m sure they will let us know if it is.”

“True. You’re home today if Ollie needs collecting early because of this?”

I nodded I wasn’t going to say what I was doing. I would have my mobile and wouldn’t be far.

“It wasn’t the ski slope, Sam.”

“I didn’t say it was.”

“You didn’t have to. Your eyes speak when you don’t. What you heard on the plane was what your mind has made it into.”

“I am a linguist.”

“Bahasa wasn’t ever one of your languages.”

“I learnt enough to translate those words easily.”

“You had taken a sleeping pill and not doubt a glass or two of wine so I wouldn’t rely on your language capabilities in those circumstances.”

“You never do under any.” The words were out before I could stop them.

“Sam, that is so bloody untrue.”

“What is bloody untrue?” Ollie walked in with the remnants of toothpaste around his mouth. I quickly wiped them away with my hand enjoying the feel of his smooth skin.

“Nothing, sweetheart.”

I watched the small head swing from his mother and his father.

“Come on mate or you’ll be late.”

“Yeah, Dad.” Ollie grabbed his bags from his dad and followed him through the door. How much did he know? How much had he picked up?

The smoke can be seen as far as Sharjah but we still don’t know what was the cause of the explosion and the smaller explosions but it is in Al Quoz between Sheik zayed and Al Khail Road. A large dark smoke cloud can now be seen from Sharja. Traffic is backing up. Please don’t stop to ogle keep moving. We will let you know when we have more details. There is also a five car pile up at the Trade Centre roundabout.

I watched them pull out of the drive as the smoke slowly covered the bright morning sun. I felt a chill even though I knew it was twenty five degrees.

Confession

I normally write Explosive Dreams just before they are published but I'm afraid the next weeks chapter is done and dusted thanks to events in Dubai this morning......sometimes life hands you writing details that you just can't pass up. So I confess that I am ahead of schedule.

Also this morning I have plunged back into A Cornish House. It's been two weeks since I looked at it with the new delevelopments. I read through the new prologue and right now I do feel it does put the story squarely back in Madde's court and I am suddenly excited about the changes I need to make. So fingers crossed this works.

Dickens Challenge - Explosive Dreams Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Ollie’s small frame exploded into a run as he saw me standing in the shade. Tears welled in my eyes and I knew that life was indeed good if I could mean this much to someone. I waited for the impact as the small body reached me. My arms were wide then suddenly full of eight year old boy.

“Mum.” His blond head pressed into my stomach.

“Hello, handsome. You survived without me.”

“Yeah, just.” His gap tooth grin filled his freckled face. Had he lost another tooth while I was away? Could things happen that fast? He looked like he had grown an inch. “What did you bring me?” Big eyes stared up at me.

“You didn’t miss me!” I ran my fingers through his hair and savoured the feel of the silky threads. “You only want me for my presents.”

“Yeah right, Mum. So what did you get me?”

I pulled out the football tee shirt from my hand bag and enjoyed the squeal of delight from him.. Simple gift - great pleasure. The sun caught the three carat diamond on my finger. Beautiful gift complicated feelings.

“Over here.” I could see Becca waving from the mass of cars outside the school gates. My head still felt muzzy from the wine at lunch. I should know better but I did it anyway. When will I grow up? Supposedly in two days. I gulped.

“Are we going with Becca and Harry?” Ollie pulled gently at my hand as we walked to the car.

“Yes.”

“Cool.”

I couldn’t help but smile. Ollie was such a happy child as he rolled from school to afterschool activities. How could I ruin his world?

We arrived at the Mall of Emirates and managed to find a parking space. I was continually amazed that here was a ski slope in the desert. Life was stranger than fiction. The boys rushed off to join their two hour class and we settled down for coffee to kill time. I just hoped that we had finished discussing my sex life as I was not sure I could take any more exposure. If anything sex was the one thing that worked in my marriage but dear Dolores wouldn’t let go of her theories. As she put it she had seen many a marriage come and go and those that had survived were those that kept the sex going. She should know she had been happily married for nearly fifty years and she said they were still at it. It boggled the mind really but it was incredibly sweet as was her concern.

I looked into the creamy froth of my cappuccino and then at the blue light that filled the snow park. In their success of building a ski slope they even managed to capture that low light that fills the mountains before it begins to snow. My eye caught a small child in a tube at the snow play park as I searched for Ollie on the slope. I could just make out Ollie’s class. He and Harry were pushing and shoving each other until they were told off. Both then stood so straight I started laughing.

“Do mind if we slip off and do a bit of shopping?” Becca knocked back her espresso.

“Not at all.” I smiled as I saw just how similar they looked.

“Need anything?”

“New life.”

Becca bashed me over the top of my head and left with her mother. I wondered how my mother was. I hadn’t heard from her in months but then she had a busy life and didn’t find it necessary to check with her only daughter. I bet Michael had heard from, though. I had always been told that parents kept in touch with daughters and that sons slipped away. It wasn’t that case in our family. The sun rose and set on Michael. I was the after thought. I wondered if it would have been different if dad was still alive.

I waved to the waiter for another. Lack of sleep and two glasses of wine were having their effect. Last night the sofa had not been the best place to sleep especially as Pasha, the cat, chose to nest in my hair. I had woken with an incredibly stiff neck. I hadn’t planned on sleeping on the sofa but it happened.

While I waited for the next dose of caffeine to kick in, I watched the child in the snow park with his maid. I still had to get used to seeing head scarves and ski suits together. I didn’t notice them any where else but just never pictured them on the slopes. Another maid joined the child and swept down the shute with the him laughing for all they were worth. Life was so free when one was young. People looked after you and made sure that nothing happen and then boom the real world hits about age twenty one. The stabilisers are taken away and you are free to fall as hard as you want.

I viewed the maids as they picked up the small child up and tickled him. His was head thrown back and they had matching smiles. The realization kicked in that they were the two Indonesian women on the plane. I watched them pull the kid around and explore the base of the ski slope slowly. The child seemed to want them to go faster but they didn’t oblige him. This was most unusual. Normally maids were much attuned to the child’s desires. Suddenly one of them pulled out of her ski suit a phone, the brand new one I had seen on the plane with the great camera, and began to take pictures. I watched for a while. She was taking so many. I wondered if she knew how to use it yet the flash kept going off. They walked the base of the slope and through the whole kids snow park taking too many pictures to count then it dawned on me that they were not photographing the child but the construction of the slope. Words rumbled in my brain. Snow…….Bomb……….Ski.

Dickens Challenge - Explosive Dreams Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

An almost silent whisper spread about the shops and an instant electric energy crackled about me. I heard a briefcase shut somewhere behind me and I watched the woman with the pink nails quickly stub out her cigarette and duck back into the clothing shop. The hawkers sing song stopped and I looked up to see two municipality people walking in my direction. I continued to study the beach shoes on display and hoped that Rebecca and Dolores wouldn’t be shut upstairs too long. A quick glance at my watch said it was eleven thirty. I needed to collect Ollie from school just after two. With traffic as bad as it was in Dubai these days it meant leaving from here by one thirty at the latest and Rebecca had planned on lunch together. That might not happen.

I went in the store and selected the required tee shirts all the while keeping my eyes open for what was going on outside. I watched the crisp white of the dish dashes walk into the shop next-door where the lady with the pink nails had fled. Of course it probably wasn’t the woman from the plane. I mean why would she be here in Karama in a shop that sold belly dancing skirts and wooden camels? When I saw her last she was in a channel suit with a sleek bob so why would I think that this woman in tight jeans and stilettos was the same woman. My mind was clearly working overtime. I stepped out into the sun and to pick up what was being said in the shop while I tried to admire the carving on a camel’s hump.

I could hear them speaking Arabic. My eyes widen when I realized that the woman was fluent. I felt a tingle of excitement that I couldn’t explain but that quickly withered as I realized they were exchanging pleasantries about the weather. I watched them shake hands and the two men in white walked out of the shop. The woman slipped into the back room.
I put the camel down and jumped as a hand fell onto my shoulder.

“Mum’s in the car. We got out in time? Did you managed to find the Man U shirt for me or should I pop in next door?”

“I’ve got it.” I was willing my heartbeat to return to normal.

“Great let’s go get some lunch. We won’t be able to do any more shopping here today.” Becca looked to the two figures retreating into another shop. I slowly followed her to the car. What was wrong with me? I was imagining all sorts of crazy things and the reality was that it couldn’t be the same woman from the plane. Tomorrow I would make an appointment to have my eyes checked. I turned one final time to see the woman standing out in front of the display of camels and I could swear she was looking at me.

“That was a close one.” Dolores smiled at me from the front seat tapping her heavy blue plastic bag.

“Yes.” I nodded my mind still with the woman. “Where are we going for lunch?”

“There’s a great restaurant in the new hotel by the Burj Dubai.”

“Is it open?”

“Yes, and they’re doing a cracking business lunch including a glass of wine. Just what you need.” Becca manoeuvred out into the traffic. Did I need a glass of wine? I didn’t think so but I needed some thing. Two days until I hit the big 4 0 and my life was a mess.

I looked to the ever growing tower as we approached. There was no way you would ever get me to the top of it. At about 630 metres and growing daily the soon to be tallest building in the world looked impressive. The outside skin was being applied and I could see that it would become a thing of beauty but just looking up on that great height gave me the willies.

“How did you find this place, Becca?” I asked as we walked through the new souk.

“Oh, you know I heard there was another shopping area opened so I had to check it out.” I nodded. Becca knew all the best spots. She prided herself on it. I swear she could write the dream shoppers guide to Dubai - if you needed something she knew where to find it at the best price.

The restaurant was still quiet as most people ate a bit later than twelve but this gave us the choice of the best table with view of the growing Burj. I took the seat with my back to it. I couldn’t bear to think of all those men working that high off the ground. I would never be able to eat viewing the service lift cling to the outside. I was a wimp supreme.

Before long I had a large glass of white wine in front of me. I knew this wasn’t a good idea but a ploy. I had protested that I needed to drive later and Becca said that she had to do school pick and ski Dubai too so she would abstain and I could drink. Did I look that in need of a drink?

“Samantha, when was the last time you and Tom had any couple time?” Dolores looked at me over her wine glass.

I nearly choked on my first sip. “What do you mean?”

“When did you last go away together?”

“I don’t know. Maybe four or five years ago.” Becca leant back and watched her mother. I was wondering what had happened to the sweet and polite lady that was in the car earlier.

“How is your sex life?”

This time I did spew my wine. Did she just say what I thought she said? I looked around to see the waiter hovering closer.

“Excuse me.”

“You heard, Mum.”

“Yes, dear, how is your sex life? Does it exist? This can cause so many problems at this point.”

My head was spinning. I looked at Dolores’s neat white hair combed elegantly back behind her ears and wondered if I was hallucinating. “I have a sex life or did until recently but I’m not sure where you are heading with this.”

She nodded and took another sip of her wine. “You are coming up forty and your sex drive is gearing up. It is a wonderful decade but it normally coincides with husband steep climb up the ladder so his drops or he looks for excitement else where thinking that you won't provide it. Men get it so wrong so many times. Herein many a problem occurs. You want more he has energy for less or he wanders.”

I blinked. Becca was sipping her sparkling water as if we were discussing the weather. This was her mother talking about sex and not just any sex but my sex life.

“So, my dear are you having any sex and is it satisfying your needs.”

I swallowed and then took another large sip of wine while I hoped the starters would appear soon. That waiter hadn’t moved, the sod, and I knew I needed to say something.
“Well, we haven’t had any sex since the last fight about a week ago but when we did it was good.” I hoped that the confession would put the bloodhound off.

“Once a week is not going to be enough. Was it a quickie or did you take time with it?”

Shit, she wasn’t letting go. I thought back to the last time and it was fast and furious and good. A smile crossed my lips and I saw the waiter hover closer. This was bloody embarrassing. I felt like we were discussing me having an illicit affair and not my sex life with my husband.

“Dolores, I don’t think sex is the problem with Tom and me.”

“It is always there around the periphery, dear, if not the central problem. If it’s not sex and by that I mean what you are having or not and with whom, what do you see is the problem then?”

I leaned back in my chair. Was I making more out of the problem with Tom and me? Was sex the problem? Or was it something less interesting and more difficult to address? Maybe I should just focus on the sex.

Procrastenation

We were up early this morning to go dolphin watching and we weren't disappointed. I have never seen so many.......

The scenery was bliss - here's a few photos to expalin why the latest chapter of Explosive Dreams isn't written. I promise you I am going to work on it now - just before happy hour and maybe tomorrow morning before we head back to Dubai I'll post it - well one can hope!

Dickens Challenge - Explosive Dreams Chapter Six

Chapter Six

“I really shouldn’t be going,” I said to Rebecca.

“I know but it’s Mum’s last day and she would like your company.” I could picture Rebecca’s mother, Doleres, with her pixie face and couldn’t stop the smile spreading across my face.
I twisted the diary in my hands. There were a thousand I things I should be doing and going handbag shopping wasn’t one of them but it wouldn’t be handbag shopping. It would be quality time with friends which was different all together but Tom’s scathing words about Julia and me shopping echoes in my ears. He clearly felt that was all I did but he was so wrong.

“Okay, I give in. I’ll be with you a few minutes.”

I looked down at the note on the table. Tom’s scratchy writing stared at me.

Don’t forget that Ollie has a snow boarding lesson after school today.
T

There was no kiss, no love, no nothing but what did I expect and yet this morning when I woke I was carefully covered in a blanket from our bed as I had collapsed on the sofa rather than face the spare room. He obviously cared enough not to let me become chilled in the air-conditioning but not enough to put any warmth in the note. Maybe he had expected me to crawl into bed with him. It seemed no matter what I did it would be the wrong thing.

Rebecca was pulling her Cayenne out of the drive as I approached. Dolores was waving. It would be great to have a mum like that but it wasn’t to be. I clambered into the back seat.

“So, Sam how was Jakarta?” Rebecca led the car swiftly into the traffic. I flinched as a speeding car nearly collided with another in front.

“Fantastic.”
“Your voice doesn’t sound fantastic?” Rebecca avoided another accident and I began to wonder if the traffic had taken another notch down the scale of dire while I was away or had I just forgotten.

“Sorry, must be jet lag.”

“You don’t suffer jet lag.”

“Don’t I?”

“Your own words. What’s up? Is it Tom?”

“What’s wrong with you and Tom?” Dolores swung round to face me in the back seat like a heat seeking missile pixie.

“Lots, I think.” We nearly crashed into a lurching lorry. “Concentrate on the driving Becca and not on what I’m saying.”

“Right.” I watched both her hands grip the wheel.

A gentle hand crept back and touched my knee. I looked at the ages spots that were liberally sprinkled across it and felt a lump in my throat. My grandmother’s hand used to look the same way and I used to trace my fingers across then playing invisible connect the dots.

“Now, I’ll need your help girls to find the right now bags for the granddaughters. I haven’t any idea what the young like.” A gentle smile peered back at me and I grinned back. How did one learn that type of tack? I stared out the window and tried to put all thoughts of me and Tom out of my head.

Dolores linked her arm through my as soon as we arrived. I wasn’t sure if it was for my comfort or to dissuade the chorus of hawkers as we worked out way to our favourite handbag shop. “Watches madam. Handbags, madam. Good price.” They all seemed to sing in rounds.
Rebecca kept shooting me sly glances my while we greeted the man who ran our favourite haunt. I was trying to focus my mind on the task at hand. What was the latest it bag for eighteen year olds. Was it the Chloe? Or Marc Jacobs? What was this seasons must have colour?

My fingers slipped over the leather testing for quality? I was trying to lose myself in the texture.

“Did you have another fight?” Becca leaned close to me.

“Not quite.”

“Just what does that mean?” she asked.

“We didn’t shout.”

“That’s positive, isn’t it?”

“It depends.”

“What depends dear? I do like this green, don’t you?” Dolores held up a messenger bag in a olive green.

I nodded and indicated to the man we’d like to see some other bags. I had hoped this would change Becca’s train of thought as we left the shop for another.

“You both need to see a counsellor. You need to do it for Ollie.”

“I won’t argue with you there but I know there is no way that Tom will go near that. That would mean talking about what is actually wrong and hearing my point of view. He just hasn’t got time for that.”

Rebecca gave me one of her stern glances that normally had her three kids quaking in their shoes. I shrugged it off. I knew Tom wouldn’t go into counselling. It wasn’t how he looked at life. He would sign the divorce papers before he see a therapist of any kind.

“Dolores, see that green colour there.” I pointed to a Louis Vuiton satchel. “That is one of this season’s colours. Can you two excuse me? I have just remembered that I didn’t pick up a gift for Ollie while I was away. I’m going to go buy him a tea shirt next door.”

“We’ll meet you there. If you see a Man U shirt in Peter’s size will you pick it up for me?” Rebecca was clutching the latest Channel that I quite fancied but I at this point I didn’t dare bring a new bag into the villa.

My eyes rebelled at the bright sunlight and I swung my sunglasses down from the top of my head. I was about to duck into the sportswear shop when I noticed a Filipino woman smoking outside the children’s shop next door. Something about her was familiar. I paused to look at the rack of shoes by the entrance and hoped that my glasses were dark enough that she couldn’t see my scrutiny.

Her long black hair hung loose on her shoulders and she wore a tight tee shirt over sprayed on jeans with three inch stilettos. How she could stand in them all day I didn’t know. She took a deep drag on her cigarette and that’s when I noticed that she wasn’t quite what she appeared. Her features were not of the Philippines and she had short pink nails.

Dickens Challenge - Explosive Dreams Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Gazing down on Oliver’s regular breathing helped to steady mine. Tom and I hadn’t said a word as we entered the villa. I touched the soft blond curl behind Oliver’s ear and lent down to inhale in the scent of him. A tear rolled down my cheek. What the hell was I doing? What was happening with us or was it just with me? Oliver’s happiness was the most important thing here. Not me and not Tom.

I felt Tom standing by the door. I couldn’t look at it him. It was three in the morning and I didn’t know what to do. I was shattered and needed my bed but not if it meant sleeping next to Tom. I longed for Ollie to wake and drag me beside him where I could wrap him in my arms and forget the world.

“He missed you.”

“I missed him.” My back stiffed. I didn’t want Tom intruding into my thoughts.

“But not me.” Without looking at him I knew his arms would be across his chest. He had every right to feel defensive.

“That’s not quite true.”

“Explain then.”

I put my finger to my lips and crept out of Oliver’s room. If we were about to have a blazing row I didn’t want it to take place in there. I watched Tom back off towards our bedroom. I didn’t want to infect the air in there so I whizzed past him to the stairs.

Once in the kitchen I put the kettle on. Rather than making mint tea I really needed something stronger. “Would you like one?” I asked as I heard his feet hit the tile floor.

“No. What I’d like to know is what is happening in that head of yours.”

I sometimes wondered that myself but I wasn’t going to admit it. He doubted my sanity enough as it was. In fact he just didn’t believe me except my comment about taking through divorce with Julia. He clearly took that very seriously.

Tom came close behind me. I could feel my body reacting to his proximity. He always tried to get around me with the physical side of things but even that had been lacking lately. I held my breath waiting for his touch but it didn’t come. He just stood there behind me and suddenly I felt his confusion. It matched my own.

Cool air rushed toward my back as he walked to the other side of the room. I rubbed my arms and stood staring at the kettle that wouldn’t boil.

“So you didn’t miss me.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then maybe you should tell me then what you meant.”

“You haven’t given me a chance.” I watched the tea bag wilt under the boiling water.

“You’ve got it now.”

“Right.” I turned with the mug in my hands. I was enjoying the warmth in my fingers. “I did miss you in a way.”

“That’s good too know.” His arms were across his chest again.

“You didn’t let me finish.” I paused and waited for interruption. “I missed the Tom that I married all those years ago.”

“But you didn’t miss the me of now. Is what you are saying?”

“Yes, in short that is very true.”

“Great.” He started walking.

“See that’s it. In the past you would have waited for me to explain what I meant instead of just walking away. You don’t have time for me any more.”

“Well, that makes it mutual.” He stopped in the door way.

“That is so bloody untrue.”

“From your stand point.” He walked through the door and called from the stairs, “The guest bed is made up. Why don’t you sleep there tonight? I’ll take Ollie to school in the morning.”

I looked at the empty doorway. That had gone well. My dread of having to share a bed with him again had been solved. I didn’t have to worry about that any more. I sipped the scalding tea. I couldn’t taste the mint but I could still taste the salt from my tears.

I unlocked the back door and walked into the early morning air. All was still black and scent from the frangipani tree filled the air. I sank into the nearest chair. What has happened to my life? I was a few days off being forty and I was more confused than I had been at eighteen. Back then I knew what I wanted and Tom was it. Now twenty-two years later I had him. Or did I? I didn’t think so. He may say that he is still with us but I can’t help feeling these are empty words. When did he leave us?

The call of the mosque told me it must be just after five. Dampness had settled on me and the tea was cold yet I still held the cup in my hand. I looked up to the sky and saw nothing. There were no stars or moon. What was I going to do? Was I going to let go of Tom and our past? But what of Oliver and his need for two parents. If I walked away from Tom it would mean leaving Dubai and that was all Oliver had known. He had never lived in England more than a few weeks at a time. How would I cope living back there? Had it really come to this? Yet Tom had told me to sleep in the guest room. Should I go crawl into our own bed and try to make amends. I thought of all the times I had woken him with caresses that lead to amazing sex. Would that fix things? Or would it just highlight the problems even more? Physically the attraction was still there but was there anything else?

I stretched my legs and stood up. The possibility that he wouldn’t respond to me hit like a slap in the face.

Another Wonderful Award From JJ

I woke up this morning wondering what the day held. Fog had settled around the streets of Dubai and with a chilly 14 degrees and I felt home sick for Cornwall. Blogger/google was playing silly with me and wouldn't let me see anyone else's blogs saying I was a spamming virus. Now I have been called many things in my life but that is new.



Fortunately that seems to be resolved and could go and received my lovely new award. Feeling the way I have been feeling lately the kind words from JJ made cry a bit. Here's what she said-

I'd like to pass it on to Liz who was having a moment of despair last time I looked. I really hope that's all it is because Liz has always been a huge role model to me. Her industry, like Cally's , never faulters; her diligence puts me to shame and her constant attention and generosity to the Novel Racers and their adminstration is the best.



I will be posting the latest installment of the Dickens Challenge tomorrow as I am a bit behind this week. I have to confess this was because I was out hand bag shopping with Penny Jordan. Life is good some times and it was all in age of research for the Explosive Dreams I can assure you :-)

The Dickens Challenge and Links

As I wrote this week's chapter for the Dickens Challenge I realized that I have been writing scenes and not chapters as such. I think this was deliberate on my part as I am posting them on my blog I didn't want them to be too long and bore my readers or ruin their eyes! I also tend to write short chapters but not generally as short as the ones in Explosive Dreams. I have to say that on one hand I am loving writing this because I feel so free to write what ever comes into my head and yet absolutely terrified at just putting my writing out there. (I know I post frequently so my writing is out there but my blog is more like the workings of my brain and not the polished prose I hope comes out at the other end of the writing process).

My rewrite has ground to halt with half terms, Oman and DH still being under foot. I am having great trouble finding a routine. Hopefully I can claw this back but sil is arriving on the 6th so it could all be just a dream.

Yet again Steve Malley has put together a useful post this time on size.....of manuscript that is and some useful tips for making yours fit the genre you are aiming for. Over on Susan Hill's Creative Writing Course here she gives some sound advice for writing dialogue.

Dickens Challenge - Explosive Dreams Chapter Four

Chapter Four

It was two in the morning and the airport was at fever pitch. My stomach toppled over as I scanned the crowds. The humid air closed my throat. I wanted to wipe the damp flannel feel away but there was no escape.

What was I going to say to Tom? His blond head almost glowed in the sea of dark ones. I wasn’t ready for this. His big smiled welcomed me. Had I just imagined the fight we had before I left? I could see no signs of the scares I knew I had inflicted before I left. Surely he should still have wounds. I cut him with words I knew I could never take back.

I pushed through the human masses around me to find myself in his arms. The scent of soap and spice greeted me as he pulled me tight. Even if I had wanted to pull back I couldn’t. His arms had me locked.

“Hello beautiful.”

His voice sent a shiver down my spine as his breath tickled just behind my ear. I couldn’t be reacting physically to a man I had told I hated could I?

“Hi.” I tried to pull back so I could see his eyes. Were they light or dark blue? Was he calm or agitated? Without seeing them I wouldn’t know. He had a poker face to most people but I could read his eyes.

“Let’s grab a taxi.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and steered me towards the queue.

“You didn’t drive?” He loved his Porsche why didn’t he take it?

“No, one of the bridges is closed so I thought this would be easier.” He still wasn’t looking at me.

“How was Julia?”

“Great.”

“Good. You had a fun few days then?”

“Yes.” I pinched myself. We were talking like our old selves as if things hadn’t been said but they had and I couldn’t forget them. Could he? I doubted it.

“Did you see much of Harry?”

“No, he was working all hours as usual.”

“How were the kids?” He led me forward.

“Great. Asking after Oliver. How is he?”

“Good but missing you like me, I guess.”

“Look, Tom, your acting as if things are okay.” I pulled away from him and bumped in an older Indian woman in the queue. I mumbled my apologies as she scowled at me.

“They are okay.”

“You have got to be kidding me.” I swung round to face him.

“No.” He studied the crowd avoiding my eyes.

“What about what we said before I left.”

“Let’s just forget that. We were both too angry. Heat of the moment and all.”

“I can’t forget. How can you?”

“I can forget because I want to.” He turned towards me. His eyes were deep blue. “Look this isn’t the place to talk about this.”

I nodded. He had a point there. People were watching us closely including the large Russian man. He was on his phone again with his free hand flying wildly. The action stuck me as more Italian than Russian.

“Who are you looking at?” Tom pushed me into the waiting taxi as we reached the front of the line.

“Oh, that large man was on the flight with me. He was in the loo with a woman during the worst turbulence I have ever experienced."

“He was in the loo with a woman?” Tom’s eyebrow rose.

“Yeah, I know but I saw them come out together.”

“He’s big enough to fill the space on his own. Was she was tiny?”

“Yes.” I could see the workings going on in his head. Would it lead him to disgust or lust? I was repulsed by the thought but I didn’t need him to go all horny on me. I should have kept my mouth shut but I wasn’t good at that.

“Sounds like an interesting flight.”

“What I heard made it more so.”

“Oh, what was that?”

The taxi driver’s eyes pleaded with me to reveal all and realized that I didn’t want to share this with him. I knew his mind was working on the two in the loo.

“I’ll tell you later.” Tom threw me a look but I cast my eyes toward the front and he nodded. I couldn’t help but see how bloody handsome Tom was. Some of the boyish charm I had fallen for all those years ago still appeared when he smiled but there were now lines around his eyes and a few grey hair had started to dilute the blond.

“What are all the flags up for?” I asked.

“The president is visiting.”

“Isn’t he here already?”

“Not the UAE one but the US one.” Tom cocked his head at me. I was always getting things wrong according to him.

“He’s visiting here?”

“Yes, where have you been?”

“Jakarta. No mention of it there but then I didn’t watch much telly while I was there.”
“No you where shopping with Julia no doubt.”

“Actually no, I was asking about divorce.” Once the words were out of my mouth I bit my tongue. Why had I said that? I know it was the truth but I didn’t need to say it. It was his jab about the shopping. I looked at Tom’s face and he aged in front of me. Here he was pretending that nothing had happened and I couldn’t leave things alone. What the hell was wrong with me?

Dickens Challenge - Explosive Dreams Chapter Three

Chapter Three

A wave of humid air hit me as I stood in the galley waiting for a family of five to manoeuvre through the door. Welcome back to Dubai. Moisture sprang from every pore as I went down the stairs to the waiting bus. Lucky buggers in business were already on their way and I was nearly the last person off the sodding plane.

Squeezed into the back of the bus I realized I was pressed against the ugly bloke who had been in the loo. He reeked of the free cologne they leave in there. I began to imagine the chic woman had been trying to groom him and in the turbulence tipped the whole bottle on him, well that is what he smelled like. Yet there was something more about his scent but I couldn’t place it.

I felt his phone vibrate in his pocket as we rolled through a turn. Desperately I tried to make room between us as his ham fist went for the phone. I felt my stomach turn. They couldn’t have been doing it in the loo. He was just too revolting unless of course she was a certain type of lady and money had changed hands. That just might explain it but somehow I didn’t think the scenario fit.

The press of people was so great I couldn’t see much until the first lot left at the connections gate then I noticed the woman standing in impossibly high heals. The shoes were exquisite, the type I could only think about in my dreams. Only a woman with ankles that thin could wear an ankle strap with those heals and not appear ridiculous. I tore my eyes from her shoes to study her face. Porcelain features of an Asian doll looked past me to rear window of the bus. She didn’t seem to notice my scrutiny. I couldn’t place where in Asia she was from. Her suit could be Channel or maybe a good knock off which it must be otherwise why had she been in economy as I knew business wasn’t full.

The woman created more question than answers as I watched her push open her phone and dial. Those nails bothered me. I longed to get close to see if she bit them. I don’t know why this was so important but I just felt that everything about her was right except those short pink nails.

The phone rang beside me again. The oaf spoke.

“Da.”

He was Russian? Now, that I hadn’t expected. I tried to piece together what he was saying but it was mostly numbers which made no sense. I wondered he was in the economy cabin of the plane. Most of the Russians visiting Dubai were very wealthy.

He hung up with out saying good bye. The bus lurched to a halt at arrivals and I prepared my self for the mad dash through the hall to the e-gate section. Modern technology at it’s finest – the e-gate. No queues just a finger print scan and I would be standing in Duty free stocking up.
My elegant woman had put her phone away and swung her Louis Vuitton bag over her shoulder. I wondered if she was just a visitor or was she a resident.

The two Indonesian women pushed past me across the hall. I had forgotten about them. They didn’t detour to the visa desk as I expected but joined the long immigration line. I swung past them and my phone rang.

“Hello.”

“Sam.”

“Tom.” My stomach flipped and knotted. What comes next I wondered. What does one say to ones husband at one in the morning when you told him you hated him as you left days before? I didn’t have a script for this one. I thought there would be a text but a call caught me off guard. He shouldn’t be awake he had to be work today. Maybe Oliver was sick?

“You okay?”

“Yes.” I sounded breathless. Was it from the dash or just hearing his voice?
“Good. We have been missing you.”

“Have you really?” I tried to keep sarcasm from my voice. Why didn’t I believe him? If he was calling me at one am then just might be.

“Yes, Sam. Where are you?”

“About to go through e-gate and you?”

“Waiting for you outside.”

“Really?”

“Yes, don’t sound so surprised. I love you.”

“Why?”

“That might be a good question for later but not for now. See you in a few minutes.”

The phone went dead. I fumbled with my card and the gates swished open. I tried to remember which finger was required. Eventually I got it right and was released through the other side. My mind stayed with Tom. Did he really love me or after all these years were we just going through the motions to afraid to let go. Then of course there was Oliver. He was the glue that held us together. Was there anything else?

On autopilot I filled my basket with the requisite bottles of gin and whiskey. The joys of the expats life in Dubai accumulating your liquor supply without the 30% tax on alcohol.

“Excuse me.”

My head shot up as I bumped into the chic woman.

“Sorry.” I was stunned by her flawless English accent. I was presented with a puzzle where the pieces were the wrong shape. The suit was genuine but the bag was not.

“How will you be paying?”

I looked up at the cashier and handed over my Dirhams. I stole a glance at what the woman had in her basket - four bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue.

I moved toward the exit and one of the Indonesian women from the plane was watching me. I glanced around me and looked back at her. She quickly averted her gaze. I wondered was it me they were looking at or the elegant woman behind me.

Dickens Challenge - Explosive Dreams Chapter Two

Chapter Two

The plane began its decent into Dubai airport and I had not had any more sleep. The storm passed after a half hour but with the smell of vomit and excited chattering all around there was no way even a large whiskey would have knocked me out. Plus I couldn’t get the faces of the man and woman who emerged from the loo out of my head. Not a piece of clothing was mussed and her red lipstick was in place. Now many times I have tried to envisage joining the mile-high-club and in fact my husband and I almost did en route to our honeymoon but lost the nerve if not the passion when confronted by the reality of a small box of a space where the man before had missed his aim.

So their perfect composure as they slipped out puzzled me. If they had been banging away during a storm of such ferocity that many overhead lockers had spilled their guts surely at least something would have been astray. I mean why else would a man and a woman be locked in an airplane toilet together if it wasn’t for the supposed sexual high, why the risk of arrest and exposure so to speak? I’m not sure if anyone one else noticed them find their separate seats as the chaos of the storm raged around the plane. The stewardess did check the loo once she was allowed to move about the cabin but that was all. I was the only witness to their joint occupation of the loo.

My stomach clenched as I felt the nose of the plane lower. The lights of Dubai at night twinkled at me briefly as I looked across the aisle. Casting my eyes further along I tried to see the woman’s face but the crisp outline of her dark bob was all I could distinguish. Her facial features other than the flawless lips were a blur and something was compelling me to know what she looked like. I had had a good look at the man who was a stocky rough cut European sort, not English, not French, not Italian but more of a cross of all of the above. There was not a sexy bone in his body I can assure you. She however oozed class – this I could tell from the cut of her and the way she held her small shoulders. They were and unlikely pair but who was I to say. They could be a modern day beauty and the beast.

The clunk of the wheels lowering reminded me that many a plane had crashed during landing and I needed to will the plane safely onto the run way. I had to get home safely so that I could see my little boy and try and repair the damage of the argument as I left with my husband. It was a humdinger and I wasn’t sure where to begin. I spent most our wine filled days with Julia hashing it out and that wasn’t what my trip was supposed to be about however having left with a raging row ringing in my ears I couldn’t leave it behind in Dubai. I, of course, had to carry it with me to Jarkarta and let it contaminate my girls’ trip away to celebrate my soon to be big 4 0. That dire event was three days away.

First one wheels hit the run way and then the other bounced down as the engines slammed in to reverse. We had come in fast instead of the normal gentle approach to Dubai. Half of me wondered why but the quick flash of the cell phone of the woman with the bob cancelled that line of thought. She was chic and impatient. They hadn’t even said it was safe to use phones yet. I felt for mine in my pocket. Would there be a message from Tom. Other than a text to say I had landed safely in Jarkarta and sending my love to Oliver there had been no communication. Did he care I was back? Quite possibly not. Did I care I was back? That was a good question and I didn’t really know the answer.

The woman was texting frantically and I notice the short pink nails. They didn’t seem to fit with the black hair and red lips. Her nails should be long and red.

I leaned out into the aisle as we taxied and looked for the two Indonesian girls. One of them was on texting on her phone too. I admired the model which was the latest new fangled job with camera and music and so on. I had thought about buying one but it seemed and extravagance when I had a great camera and mp3 player already.

My phone beeped. There was a message. My heart leapt, maybe Tom and I did have a chance.

Welcome back to Etisalat. Welcome home we hope you have had a good journey.

Shit. Well at least someone was glad I was home. I starred at the screen willing it to show me another message. A message that said all was forgiven and he did still love me and we could try again.

The plane juttered to a halt and I looked up to see the stocky man jump to his feet. He must have had bad acne in his youth as the face was textured to an extreme. Maybe he had a kind heart because to be honest with a face like that no one would go near him. In fact he could have a career frightening children or haunting nightmares.

“Please remained seated until the airplane has come to a complete stopped and the captain had switched off the seatbelt sign.”

There that tells you for being so keen I thought but he didn’t sit he continued to retrieve his bag from the overhead locker and then sat down. The plane began to move a bit more and then again stopped. I glanced out the window to note that we where no near the terminal and remembered the airport construction. Yippee we would be bussed in to the terminal. It was peak time at Dubai International Airport. Midnight and every form of human life would be swarming through. God, I hate travel which makes me wonder why I do it. Stupidity? Quite possibly marrying the wrong man in the wrong job with wrong goals in life. Clever woman, huh, to marry a man who wanted to see the world and worked in finance. Yet fifteen years ago it seemed a dream come true. What the hell went wrong?

Confession

I have a confession to make and I feel very guilty - I'm going on holiday - not just on any holiday but to the Maldives! With DH on gardening leave we are taking advantage of the time and indulging in some serious R&R! We are taking the dd with us so the two ds's will not speak to us when they realize that their sister is being spoiled..........



So I will be taking three books with me to read......C.S. Harris's What Angels Fear, Lucie Whitehouse's The House At Midnight, and Rowan Coleman's The Baby Club. Plus I will be taking my own revision work with me not too mention having to write the next chapter of Explosive dreams. I have no idea where the heck this is going. It is utter cr.p but I am treating it like a cw assignment. So the next chapter of my chit lit meets thriller will be written while I sit and look at this view.

It's tough but someone gotta do it!