Sorry for my absence from blogging, but traveling kept me busy and also away from my resvision. Now back in the warmth of Dubai I find I need to reaquaint myself with A Cornish House to find the flow again (I had reached page 251 of 391). As always I found mistakes and tweaked a few sentences, but all was going well until eight lines from the end of the chapter. One sentence - one key sentence just didn't say what I wanted it too. Now this particular sentence and I had wrestled several times before - word by word. I thought I had nailed it but no.
For readers unfamiliar with the story in this chapter we have Maddie arriving for the first time at a house she has inherited from a distant relative. She is a grieving widow with a bolshy teenage step-daughter. Most important fact for me in this sentence is that she is an artist.
Here's today's starting version in bold:
She needed a plan, but didn't know where to begin anymore. How could life once be so clear and now so opaque? As she entered the kitchen, her eyes fell on the massive window that dominated one end of the room. It's hand-blown glass offered an alternative vision of the view through each pane.
Through each one of its hand-blown panes an alternative vision of the scenery beyond was framed.
Each pane of hand blown glass framed an alternative vision of the scenery beyond.
Its hand-blown panes framed an alternative vision of the scenery beyond.
None of them quite captures what I want. I guess I need to leave it and move on for now. Hopefully the old unconscious will resolve it or maybe one of you has a solution???? (and yes, Susie, I know I am thinking too much :-) )