tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post9060713662817367334..comments2023-07-06T11:50:15.086+01:00Comments on Just Keep Writing and Other Thoughts...: Sentence StrugglesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02744937536946299450noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-26491426850102266692010-02-04T12:29:20.420+00:002010-02-04T12:29:20.420+00:00Make it simple and easy and yet more profound, may...Make it simple and easy and yet more profound, maybe? <br /><br />Each irregular pane framed a different version of the world.<br /><br />It seems like you want a description of the irregular glass, and also a metaphor for different points of view in the story. Keep it simple and as punchy as you can so it doesn't get lost in swirling vocabulary.<br /><br />But style is something that can't be copied or taught, so go with your gut. Your writer's ear will tell you what to do.Julie Cohenhttp://www.julie-cohen.com/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-76633738782356680022010-02-04T05:27:03.753+00:002010-02-04T05:27:03.753+00:00Graeme - brilliant. You explained it much better t...Graeme - brilliant. You explained it much better than the dozens of website I plowed through. Huge thanks.<br /><br />Debs- I think the third does work best...but it's just not right.<br /><br />CS - I have decided to leave it until this edit is finished which should give it enough time to rumble around in my head.<br /><br />All your comments have helped tremendously - I still can't pull it out of the fog in my head (jet lag maybe?) but I know it's there as I can see the scene so clearly. <br /><br />lxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02744937536946299450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-24429138523190048832010-02-04T04:48:37.596+00:002010-02-04T04:48:37.596+00:00Yes, definitely time to move on! Sometimes I find ...Yes, definitely time to move on! Sometimes I find all it takes is a few days breather, and the thought I was looking for suddenly becomes clear and easy to grasp.cs harrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13708705800818667923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-19113795729586809682010-02-03T19:56:32.399+00:002010-02-03T19:56:32.399+00:00Early window glass did involve glass-blowing, a bu...Early window glass did involve glass-blowing, a bubble rolled to make a cylinder that was snipped and flattened before it cooled (I worked in a museum that had examples of the first stained glass ever produced in a church in this country - Jarrow). Techniques were pretty much the same in Tudor times although glass working was more sophisticated, producing finer glass. It still distorts the view and will have bubbles and other imperfections. Bottle glass windows come a bit later as far as I recall and those bits (the part that had been attached to the blowing tube) were cheaper than the smoother sections.Graeme K Talboyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00147746990011686351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-25298525088626898092010-02-03T16:42:38.128+00:002010-02-03T16:42:38.128+00:00I also preferred the third sentence, "Each pa...I also preferred the third sentence, "Each pane of hand blown glass..."<br /><br />It's a pain when a sentence refuses to gel.Deborah Carr (Debs)https://www.blogger.com/profile/03223653554549707595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-89158757647517165662010-02-03T14:28:19.335+00:002010-02-03T14:28:19.335+00:00Graeme - variant perspective...hmmm...could be the...Graeme - variant perspective...hmmm...could be the words i'm seeking.<br /><br />Thanks Rick - it's good to hear the words even if I know them :-)<br /><br />Capt. B - important points... the glass and the comment on the sentence. Now off to google tudor glass making techniques.......<br /><br />lxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02744937536946299450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-13407137642975968172010-02-03T14:23:46.440+00:002010-02-03T14:23:46.440+00:00I hate to tell you this but flat glass panes are r...I hate to tell you this but flat glass panes are rolled, not blown. Unless you're talking about those circular whirly effects that are sometimes added as decoration?<br /><br />Having said that, I prefer your third version: <i>Each pane of hand blown glass framed an alternative vision of the scenery beyond.</i> It indicates more clearly that there are several different panes/alternatives rather than just one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-68573361455303714052010-02-03T14:02:34.611+00:002010-02-03T14:02:34.611+00:00I admire your craftsmanship, Liz. Don't liste...I admire your craftsmanship, Liz. Don't listen when anyone tells you your over-thinking. You're a writer, and what you put down will survive you by many years, so make it a reflection of the time you think it deserves. But I suspect you already know that.<br />Good luck!Rickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14546882686381428986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-5614063776590443452010-02-03T12:27:59.949+00:002010-02-03T12:27:59.949+00:00each pane offered a variant perspective on the sce...each pane offered a variant perspective on the scenery beyondGraeme K Talboyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00147746990011686351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-27367121520969621212010-02-03T11:09:50.758+00:002010-02-03T11:09:50.758+00:00Thanks Glynis, I like your take on it.Thanks Glynis, I like your take on it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02744937536946299450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-87315731404644682862010-02-03T11:04:44.134+00:002010-02-03T11:04:44.134+00:00As she entered the kitchen, her eyes fell on the m...As she entered the kitchen, her eyes fell on the massive window that dominated one end of the room. Each pane was made up of hand blown glass. She looked through each one, and they shared with her an alternate vision of the scenery beyond.<br /><br />:) Hope you work through it.Glynis Peters https://www.blogger.com/profile/01175378917872403609noreply@blogger.com