tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post8093567519003608168..comments2023-07-06T11:50:15.086+01:00Comments on Just Keep Writing and Other Thoughts...: Back to SchoolAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02744937536946299450noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-44758122219230374482008-08-17T22:03:00.000+01:002008-08-17T22:03:00.000+01:00Too true :-)Too true :-)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02744937536946299450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-72811200250315646392008-08-17T17:24:00.000+01:002008-08-17T17:24:00.000+01:00Gosh something else I've never considered. I like...Gosh something else I've never considered. I like your sentence but I like it more with b.e's edit.<BR/><BR/>I wish there was a Dyslexics day. I could suggest something like March 21st but then I'd end up celebrating it on March 12th. * sigh*Fiona Mackenzie. Writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03669889070557241716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-47708797492084253472008-08-10T07:49:00.000+01:002008-08-10T07:49:00.000+01:00Steve, I agree but too simple and a reader drop of...Steve, I agree but too simple and a reader drop off and enjoy a kip :-)<BR/><BR/>Kate, I don't think they spent a great deal of time on it in schools to be honest<BR/><BR/>I will be sure to point it out Jan, and I will try not to hate you (just really jealous)!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02744937536946299450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-64381437122104094982008-08-08T23:00:00.000+01:002008-08-08T23:00:00.000+01:00To me, the first para reads much better than the s...To me, the first para reads much better than the second. (But I'd put a comma after 'Well')<BR/><BR/>But... <B>Say you are dyslexic on your ms when you send it in!</B> Far better to admit to something that isn't actually your fault than to have the reader prejudiced against you because they don't think you care enough about your work to polish it.<BR/><BR/>And, er, yes, I do do grammar naturally. Sorry.Jan Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00471022034388834235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-14404838730410952632008-08-08T10:25:00.000+01:002008-08-08T10:25:00.000+01:00CatI didn't do any grammar after 14 when we did ou...Cat<BR/><BR/>I didn't do any grammar after 14 when we did our GCSE English so I am hopeless at grammar. It wasn't a specific subject in my A levls or degree which was all literature. So I am ignorant of all the techie stuff - like you I just write, hope and call it 'voice'. I sometimes think that if your grammar is too correct and self conscious, it can destroy the spontanaiety of your writing. That's my excuse anyway.Phillipahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06327571607067476569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-81079087106129184272008-08-07T11:02:00.000+01:002008-08-07T11:02:00.000+01:00No one ever tried to teach me grammar. Stupid sta...No one ever tried to teach me grammar. Stupid state education. I just write in first person and call the mistakes 'voice' *g*.<BR/><BR/>As for a passive sentence, I think of it as 'and then this happened, and then that happened'. Nobody's actually doing or feeling anything. If that helps. Which it probably doesn't. See above re: lack of grammatical education!Kate Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01502745299951529417noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-87123529294600208822008-08-06T22:40:00.000+01:002008-08-06T22:40:00.000+01:00Steve keep grammar simple. Complex grammar make St...Steve keep grammar simple. Complex grammar make Steve smash!Steve Malleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17561234111786788616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-5595281632383916152008-08-06T18:25:00.000+01:002008-08-06T18:25:00.000+01:00Thank you, thank you, thank you. Each one of you ...Thank you, thank you, thank you. Each one of you has given me a little idea or something which makes all a bit clearer......now on with the editing :-)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02744937536946299450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-24468175712426996602008-08-06T16:49:00.000+01:002008-08-06T16:49:00.000+01:00Either sentence works but if you're looking for a ...Either sentence works but if you're looking for a more active voice instead of describing as in 'the smell of turpentine hit her', which is a bit passive as she's being hit why not try 'She bent to open the box lid, recoiling from the stench of recently spilled turpentine.' In that example she's active as she's the one doing the recoiling, it becomes more immediate. I'm not terribly good at explaining so I hope that makes sense.Nell Dixonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16346808072962615721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-5308807934047199062008-08-06T16:17:00.000+01:002008-08-06T16:17:00.000+01:00Or even bogged down!!!!Or even bogged down!!!!Phillipahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06327571607067476569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-71649854011956719702008-08-06T16:16:00.000+01:002008-08-06T16:16:00.000+01:00Um. Liz. I didn't see anything wrong with either s...Um. Liz. I didn't see anything wrong with either sentence. Not that I know much, but I'd try not to get too bigged down with 'correct grammar'. Let your writing flow and do some editing after, if it needs it.Phillipahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06327571607067476569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34330113.post-50397771363327086012008-08-06T13:30:00.000+01:002008-08-06T13:30:00.000+01:00Interesting paragraph, Liz. Makes me want to read...Interesting paragraph, Liz. Makes me want to read more. :grin: I don't think the difference is so much a tense problem as it is a clarity problem. In the first example, the sentence reads like she's opening the box at the same instant she's bending. (Or maybe it is a tense problem. English class was a long time ago.) Also, I think you might need a semicolon in the second sentence: She bent and opened a box; the smell of turpentine hit her. <BR/><BR/>If you're looking for passive problems, though, you've got one in the first sentence: Scattered around her were easels and canvases, all the requirements of her life.<BR/><BR/>A more active version would be: Easels and canvases, all the requirements of her life, were scattered around her. (Or something along those lines.)<BR/><BR/>=o)B.E. Sandersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04336115135400388268noreply@blogger.com